I honestly have no idea why I keep watching stuff like this, it's a strange addiction. With no exaggeration whatsoever, I can say I've seen at least a hundred different scientists create a hundred different murderous creatures for a hundred different far-fetched reasons, usually set in a European country that just happens to have lots of cheap bit part actors. If finding the cure to cancer involves creating an invulnerable killer snake the size of the Eiffel tower, wouldn't the death toll be sort of the same either way? I know this snake is safely kept away behind a fence he can easily break through within seconds, but it still seems dangerous. Granted: a ridiculous plot is a given when it comes to this genre, so I can't rip on it too much.
What I will rip on though is that the cast is too crowded in this one. I know every established writer (the kind that gets hired for "Anaconda 4") says you need to hurt your characters and throw as much adversity towards them as you want, but come on: there's already a huge snake with a voracious appetite on the loose, do we really also need mercenaries to chase our main characters? Worse yet, the mercenaries seem like more of a threat than the title character, there are several stretches of time where everyone basically just forgets there's also a snake chasing them. You know the snake hasn't been in the movie enough when you hear its scream during the climax and one of the characters asks "what was that?". How this character survived I'll never know. Funny terrible moments like that do keep this show on the road though. There's the constant splitting up and then trying to find each other (hey, how about just not splitting up?), the snake that can't catch a guy on foot for over half a mile but has no problem keeping up with a jeep, the hilariously inept blue screen work during the car scenes, the final chick who empties two fully loaded handguns on just one mercenary because maybe the snake will die of old age, John Rhys-Davies chewing the scenery like there's no tomorrow: even if it doesn't have David Hasselhoff, this is just as entertaining as "Anaconda 3" (make of that what you will).
What I will rip on though is that the cast is too crowded in this one. I know every established writer (the kind that gets hired for "Anaconda 4") says you need to hurt your characters and throw as much adversity towards them as you want, but come on: there's already a huge snake with a voracious appetite on the loose, do we really also need mercenaries to chase our main characters? Worse yet, the mercenaries seem like more of a threat than the title character, there are several stretches of time where everyone basically just forgets there's also a snake chasing them. You know the snake hasn't been in the movie enough when you hear its scream during the climax and one of the characters asks "what was that?". How this character survived I'll never know. Funny terrible moments like that do keep this show on the road though. There's the constant splitting up and then trying to find each other (hey, how about just not splitting up?), the snake that can't catch a guy on foot for over half a mile but has no problem keeping up with a jeep, the hilariously inept blue screen work during the car scenes, the final chick who empties two fully loaded handguns on just one mercenary because maybe the snake will die of old age, John Rhys-Davies chewing the scenery like there's no tomorrow: even if it doesn't have David Hasselhoff, this is just as entertaining as "Anaconda 3" (make of that what you will).