Review of Toys

Toys (1992)
1/10
Nonsensical and Disastrous
5 February 2015
It insults the intelligence of adult viewers with its preposterous mess of a story, yet has far too much sex and ultra-violence for more innocent young audiences. The ham-handed anti war message seems like a cheap way to try for credibility. It has so little wit, so little heart in its dull script, it seems like an amateur production, or perhaps something slapped together during a writers' strike. Yet it has some real talent both behind and in front of the cameras.

Although one would hope for at least "so bad it's good" status to salvage some value from the rental cost, the many long, dry, humorless scenes make the two hours wasted on this mess at best regrettable. Apparently Barry Levinson leveraged his hit-making track record to get $43 million to make this utter bomb, scorned by audiences and critics alike. The studio execs were probably horrified when they screened it but not surprised when it failed to bring in $24 million in tickets before it slunk out of the theaters.

If Barry Levinson had made this stinker before he made his box office successes, he would be working at Taco Bell right now.
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