Dragon Eyes (2012)
3/10
Who writes this crap?
15 September 2015
Sigh. Where to begin?

A bad film with a hell of a lot of stupid moments, a stock caricature villain, awful rap music... At least the Western-style cinematography is new - not particularly well done, but new. There's also the annoying and cliché freeze-frame with each character's name as they appear on-screen for the first time. Yes, just five minutes in you'll know that this film will suck... but will the fight scenes redeem it?

Unfortunately, I'd have to say no.

Cung Le is pretty good as the stoic, kick-arse lead and, given some better material, I'd give him a second chance, but the film is forgettable at best and painful at worst.

Yes, van Damme's in it (the reason I recorded it when it came on TV), but don't expect too much from him, as he somehow manages to train the lead in prison from sorry loser to ninja, in such a short period of time that his student's hair doesn't even grow!

Credits to the man for that - now where do I sign up for my martial arts lessons?

Given van Damme's massive library of content though, I'd have to advise that a fan looked elsewhere to get his kicks... a joke that falls about as flat as this dreadful feature.
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