Review of Biohazard

Biohazard (1985)
4/10
Remarkably dull, tedious, and of no interest to anyone for any reason
26 March 2016
Warning: Spoilers
"Biohazard" is a jarringly tedious grade z "horror" movie with no horror and very little movie. At barely over an hour long it's tempting to call it mercifully brief, but no movie this bad could be short enough. It makes one hour feel like five.

Calling it an "Alien" rip off is being too kind. I guess that's what "inspired" it, or at least made the filmmakers think there'd be easy money in a zero budget retread. Really, the only thing it has in common with its source material is the look of the baby alien thing, which is glimpsed once or twice.

It was funny seeing the "psychic medium" the army has gotten for their top secret experiment that has something to do with the plot. She looks like every other b-movie actress, so you know she's only there to take her clothes off, which she does in a surprisingly brief scene in which her bra is too small and reveals her nipples.

There's some other, typical clichéd horror garbage like people who are about to have sex getting killed and people stalking the monster deciding to split up.

The blooper real at the end of the movie is easily the highlight. It's the only time you see anything like life in this remarkably dull, tedious movie.
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