Review of The Sand

Once in a while, a low budget horror film will surprise you. The dialogue is exceptional, the lead characters fully developed, and the story line solid. This is not such a film. I always click the "contains spoilers" but do try to avoid revealing them very often. That said, if you read the plot summary and look at the stills, you know a lot about the movie already. Scantily-clad women--and a few guys, including Dean Geyer who is a handsome enough guy but always looks like he took Nyquil an hour ago--are stuck on a beach fighting an unknown evil. One pretty girl gets topless, but the whole pretty thing and topless thing loses its appeal when losing the fight against the unknown evil. Why the topless girl could not have survived, at least for while, and instead one of the girls who retained her top could have lost the fight, I don't know. It would not have changed the plot, and while there remained plenty of cleavage, it still would not have been unpleasant. The dialogue is amazing. I think the phrase "Look at me" was probably uttered just over seven hundred times. Or at least thirty, and none of them with one of the pretty people meaning "Hey, I'm pretty. Look at me." You could turn this into a drinking game. What happens at the end? I can't tell you. Not that I won't tell you, as I don't want to give it away. I can't. Nobody can. I would be willing to bet that the writer(s) have no idea either. But it's not actually that bad. If you see it in the discount DVD bin, save your money, but it shows up for free, give it a watch. Eye candy. Unknown evil. Fat man in a trash can. Basically, this is the Citizen Kane of its time.