Review of Riders of Destiny

. . . inattentive viewers of this flick probably will ask. My fashion consultant swears that Cilia Parker's bubble butt riding pants would clearly define her as female from a mile away, but the DUMB AND DUMBER henchmen featured in RIDERS OF DESTINY--"Bert" and "Elmer" (almost Muppets, but no cigar)--mistake her for a dude when they're just a block off. They assassinate Cilia's horse, enabling John Wayne to step into her lurch and spread her biscuits. Since DESTINY involves more twists and turns over water rights than CHINATOWN, this may all sound kind of sexy. Rest assured that incest is hardly hinted at among "The Dentons" (Ms. Parker and her Pops, Gabby Hayes). Having a ranch and gold mine in her family is more than enough to titillate John, on top of "Fay Denton's" tasty biscuits and buns. But the cut from wounded Sheriff Baxter to the shot of Fay being dismounted is both abrupt and perplexing. The one saving grace is that this early conundrum only takes half an hour to resolve, since DESTINY runs less than 53 minutes.