Shark Lake (2015)
1/10
Swimming with the fishes
20 July 2016
Warning: Spoilers
In movies, we've seen Sharks deep underwater, we've seen sharks on beaches, we've even seen sharks in a God damn tornado not once, but 4 times. And now, we have Sharks in a lake? Shark Lake is a Dolph Lundgren B movie that fails in every single way you can possibly imagine. Now, where to begin? Firstly, the film is really dumb and cringe worthy, and not in a fun way. For example, this character called Peter is introduced to us as a guy with a PhD... Yet he has to ask the lead is they are a cop when they are IN UNIFORM WITH A PATCH ON HER SHOLUDER SAYING "SHERRIFF DEPT". That is just one of the many straight up idiotic moments in this terrible movie.

This film is unintentionally funny in everything it attempts. Whether its is the sheer patheticness of the old lady at the first attack, or the jet ski collision from outta nowhere, or every moment the shark is on screen. There is one shot I found hilarious where the camera has a birds eye view of the water as if to show how big the killer shark is.... And then this tiny little shark silhouette appears under the water. My god this film is funny for all the wrong reasons.

Being a B movie, the film isn't going to have a lot of money to work with, and you really feel it in this film. The sound is poor as well as the lighting at times. Some scenes are too dark and the police lights at the start of the film are so intense, they could possibly trigger an epileptic fit. But I'm not a doctor so don't take my word on that. The film also doesn't contain Dolph Lundgren much at all. It's not that its a bad thing, it's just that the films lead just doesn't do anything in this film and is almost misleading if you think you are going to get 90 minutes of Dolph vs Shark because you get about 2 minutes probably. But wait there's more, the script is also bad. The characters aren't likable, for example the real lead in this film, Hernandez, is a terrible cop and a finger pointer when it comes to blame (well only to Dolph Lundgren).

Speacking of a terrible script, Dolph 's story with the mob boss guy gets completely forgotten about. The guy more or less comes in and says "get my shark or my money or I kill you daughter" and the next time you see him is in the back of some car ( A police car? I don't know the framing didn't reveal that) and Dolph makes a comment and boom its all happily ever after... It's like the writers literally forgot about this part of the story and so squeezed it into the ending. Like seriously?

Overall, Shark Lake is a unintentionally hilarious Dolph Lundgren B movie. The film is of the quality you would expect of B, C, D all the way through to Z movies. One thing still bugs me about this film... What is the third thing that all living things do? Like, Peter with the Phd says there are 3 things... And then only lists 2 things... So what's the third thing? Anyway this film is not good and I don't know what the point was with it. Porr Dolph is left swimming with the fishes with this one.
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