How can I put this? It's terrible. Almost halfway through and NOTHING has happened. NOTHING. Look we all know where this is going. Guy and girl get an unplanned visit from an 'old friend'. He's sketchy. We get it he's vaguely Hispanic and talks black. He's sketchy. We know there's going to be a love triangle we know the two guys have a past that's going to come back to haunt one of them. We know the girl is going to get sexually involved with the sketchy guy. We know there's going to be some criminal activity with even sketchier dudes. We know the girl is going to get or almost gets raped by the even sketchier dudes. We know there's going to be a fight slash gun battle slash drowning between the first guy and the sketchy guy. We know sketchy guy is on a revenge trip. We know the cop who shows up at the beginning in a brilliant white linen suit isn't a cop. We know the guy and the girl are too dumb to know that. We know no one will ask how the sketchy guy even knew they were living there. We know that with Airbnb no one would rent out their top 5 most amazing homes in all of LA for $150,000 a week for the whole summer because their step daughter and her do nothing boyfriend should use it for free for their summer vacation in their mid 20s.
And that's what we know will happen. Problem is nothing happens. SLOW burn is not a synonym. It's a style. It's a tease where you spin out a shaggy dog story in a TV series so that you can stretch 3 episodes into 13. In a movie its just wasted time and film. I can't tell you how many movies now are "the first 75 minutes are terrible but the the last 15 are good. Just make those 15 and skip the rest. Just because you call your little movie a neo noir something or other doesn't mean you can get away with awful cheesy dialog terrible direction a boilerplate script cookie cutter characters and bad acting. And why is almost every actor South African? Do they come as a package deal with the house?
And that's what we know will happen. Problem is nothing happens. SLOW burn is not a synonym. It's a style. It's a tease where you spin out a shaggy dog story in a TV series so that you can stretch 3 episodes into 13. In a movie its just wasted time and film. I can't tell you how many movies now are "the first 75 minutes are terrible but the the last 15 are good. Just make those 15 and skip the rest. Just because you call your little movie a neo noir something or other doesn't mean you can get away with awful cheesy dialog terrible direction a boilerplate script cookie cutter characters and bad acting. And why is almost every actor South African? Do they come as a package deal with the house?