Eliminators (2016)
1/10
Incomprehensibly Bad
9 January 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I suffered throughout this disaster of a movie right up until the point where, with absolutely no danger presented to his daughter and clearly open shots on both the man and the woman standing IN FRONT of the child (no, there was no gun to the child's head; no knife to her throat; no cliff behind her leaving her precariously balanced and in danger of falling; no poison in her system and only the two villains have the antidote - the kid is on a couch, in the living room, with the two villains presenting no danger - and dad has the drop on the both) - he lowers his gun for some utterly inexplicable reason. I turned it off at that point and really have zero interest in what happens next...

Make no mistake, from the awful opening 1980's "look at my muscles" shots on a Scott Adkins who looks like he's about to make gay porn instead of get dressed for work (in a pseudo Nazi-esque uniform) through to the point above (where I turned it off) this is an utterly dismal movie.

Someone reviewed this travesty and said :"it's Scott Adkins so you can expect lousy acting" - to be honest, I am still waiting for acting that makes it even close to the "lousy" bar.

Add in an inexplicably crap hit-man (trained at MI6 - but about as useful as penis flavored lollypop in a lesbian bar) and the exact same martial arts move over and over again (Oh look - a roundhouse kick..... *yawn*) the only thing left to save this "movie" would have been an intense, lingerie heavy, erotic, girl on girl scene between the female baddie extra and the female goodie social worker extra - but sadly, the closest this trash gets to anything even remotely that exciting is an implication that the female baddie extra shoots the female goodie social worker extra when she's unconscious (you can't see if she actually does because the bad guy is Santa Clausing himself up the stairs and he's about the width of Manhattan ( in a "Santa Claus needs to eat WAY fewer cookies" way not in a "wow - the Rock has really been working out!!" way.))

Avoid. I guarantee you the reviews for the movie are far more entertaining than the movie itself. Worst thing is - the plot has been tried and tested thousands of times - it is SUPER hard to get it wrong. The morons who made this crap succeeded ONLY in achieving that dubious accolade.
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