Review of Patriot

Patriot (2015–2018)
1/10
Incredibly Tedious. If you have paint drying--watch that instead, because it's better.
2 March 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I just do NOT get the alleged love for this series. Interestingly, despite it "opening wide" on Amazon Prime, there are only a handful of reviews here--most from the Preview episode from last Fall.

We tried, we did. After all, it's not as though the Great Wasteland that is TV is smothered with quality watching. We didn't even finish the first episode. We watched about 75-80%, and finally couldn't take any more and switched it off. The inanity, alone, of thinking that ANY intelligence agency would use this loser (or his brother) for work, is absurd. This jackass tootles around, ignoring calls from his handler-- his father, more nonsense--and rides a mechanical bull while writing and singing possibly the WORST folk songs since my next-door neighbor's son used to sing in harmony with his Siamese Cat. Truly, truly, awful folk songs.

As usual, the aggressive, pushy father keeps his son working; his brother is a chunky loser (who somehow became a Congressman...), the loving wife sits at home, awaiting her Lochinvar...and man, NOTHING. HAPPENS. It's like Waiting for Godot, without the interesting parts.

I would never accuse reviewers of being paid, but I'm damned if I can figure out how the hell this thing got such glowing reviews. Comparing this to the Coen Brothers is absolutely scandalous heresy. Sure, it's like the Coen Brothers' movies, if you take out all the witty dialogue, remove any interesting characters, completely obliterate ANY discernible plot line, and deliberately subject your viewers to tedium. Who does that?

Not for me. And probably not for you, if you have anything more interesting to do than watching paint dry.
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