"Starcrash" has Christopher Plummer in it for about 15 minutes of screen time, so I simply can't give it 1 star. He has a 2 minute wrap-up speech at the end where he tries valiantly to summon enough dignity and conviction to redeem the 80+ minutes of nonsense that preceded it But that feat is beyond even his abilities.
Let me put it this way: I saw this movie once, 20 years ago. And as we watched the opening episode 4 of the relaunched MST3K show, and announced that the movie would be "Starcrash", I instinctively reacted with a level of dismay that amazed (and amused) my wife. And I've seen "Manos", "Red Zone Cuba", "Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies ?!!", and "Monster A- Go- Go" without raising an eyebrow.
"Starcrash" appears to have been written and produced by precocious 12 year olds who really liked "Star Wars", but didn't understand a thing about writing screenplays. Or narrative logic. Or cause-and- effect. Or how human beings talk.
Worst example of this is the character of "Aktor" (who I think is Marjoe Gortner); about halfway through the movie, the character starts pulling out various Force powers and light sabers and precognition abilities every few minutes with absolutely no setup or justification, as if he were an Italian "Ultraman". And then he dies from a cut to the arm for no good reason (he won't let his teammates treat him because it was "fore- destined").
Carol Monroe, who is front and center for 90% of the movie...well she looks smashing in her thigh high boots and dominatrix bikini, but has all the emotional range of a sack of cement. Some of this may be the dubbing, because she sounds utterly American here, but I've read that she's actually British. So maybe not all her fault...but this is strictly a one-note performance.
The sets and costumes and props and spaceships are a random hodgepodge of goofy colors and textures, and outer space appears to be lit by Christmas tree lights.
In short, this makes Roger Corman's output look good. It's easily one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen, and I've seen dozens.
Half a star added because it's obviously not meant to be taken seriously.
Let me put it this way: I saw this movie once, 20 years ago. And as we watched the opening episode 4 of the relaunched MST3K show, and announced that the movie would be "Starcrash", I instinctively reacted with a level of dismay that amazed (and amused) my wife. And I've seen "Manos", "Red Zone Cuba", "Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies ?!!", and "Monster A- Go- Go" without raising an eyebrow.
"Starcrash" appears to have been written and produced by precocious 12 year olds who really liked "Star Wars", but didn't understand a thing about writing screenplays. Or narrative logic. Or cause-and- effect. Or how human beings talk.
Worst example of this is the character of "Aktor" (who I think is Marjoe Gortner); about halfway through the movie, the character starts pulling out various Force powers and light sabers and precognition abilities every few minutes with absolutely no setup or justification, as if he were an Italian "Ultraman". And then he dies from a cut to the arm for no good reason (he won't let his teammates treat him because it was "fore- destined").
Carol Monroe, who is front and center for 90% of the movie...well she looks smashing in her thigh high boots and dominatrix bikini, but has all the emotional range of a sack of cement. Some of this may be the dubbing, because she sounds utterly American here, but I've read that she's actually British. So maybe not all her fault...but this is strictly a one-note performance.
The sets and costumes and props and spaceships are a random hodgepodge of goofy colors and textures, and outer space appears to be lit by Christmas tree lights.
In short, this makes Roger Corman's output look good. It's easily one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen, and I've seen dozens.
Half a star added because it's obviously not meant to be taken seriously.