Eat Locals (2017)
3/10
Very bloodless and lacks bite
7 September 2017
Despite being received negatively, 'Eat Locals' did have a good cast on paper and the premise was interesting. And there is certainly no bias for or against vampire films, there are both good and bad ones out there.

Actually did want to have a little enjoyment from 'Eat Locals', considering the cast and premise. Have gone against the grain before, having found panned films not that bad (some are still not great though) and acclaimed films not that good (while still seeing the appeal), and was prepared to do so here. Do tend to agree with critics with that being said admittedly, absolutely refuse to do the common thing online and resort to critic bashing which is getting really ridiculous and annoying now and needs to stop. 'Eat Locals' however just didn't work, with the right execution it could have been guilty pleasure fun but ended up a bloodless film with little to no bite.

'Eat Locals' does have good things. The cast make a very game effort, despite having to work with thinly sketched characters and a mostly dire script. Annette Crosbie and Dexter Fletcher give the best performances. There are some funny one-liners sprinkled here and there.

However, as said, most of the script is dire. It is very clunky and awkward, as well as often forgetting to be funny, a big problem for a film with comedic elements. Most of the gags are laboured and laughter free, saw a review that called them long-in-the-fang, sums them up pretty aptly.

The horror elements also fail, forgetting completely to be scary or shocking. It's all incredibly predictable and plodding and the cheap production values and gratuitous gross-out gore do not help. 'Eat Locals' even includes moments of action, which are poorly choreographed, edited and filmed (very haphazard) and lack any kind of excitement. That's one of the film's biggest problems, that tonally it's muddled and like it doesn't know what it wants to be, parts including the army, the mafia and religion add nothing and add to the kitchen-sink weirdness.

Story-wise, it's an incredibly feeble, thin and deadeningly dull (the first act especially drags) one, where one actually questions whether there is actually one at all.

Jason Flemying is a very capable actor but is very ill at ease in his directing debut. The music rarely gels with the rest of the film and sounds cheap and discordant on its own. 'Eat Locals' looks cheap and the characters are basically sketchy stereotypes with next to no effort in trying to make the vampires interesting.

In summation, had potential but poorly done. 3/10 Bethany Cox
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