Despite its title, this unessential remake of the 1981 original of the same name feels more appropriate for Halloween than Valentines Day. After all, it has scary and horrifying written on its forehead and deals far less with people celebrating their relationships with their significant others than it does with individuals getting picked off one-by-one by a psychotic maniac in a mask. As with many slasher films (and their remakes), this one is far from anything new and pedals on roughly the same formula we have seen numerous times in past a few decades. Director Patrick Lussier does offer a rare ingredient to the mix, and that is adding 3-D effects to the gruesome action; allowing audiences to witness the horrific bloodshed flying at their faces. Does it do much to enhance the experience? Maybe by a smidgen for those who relish in seeing things pop out in their faces. For anyone else, it is just another run-of- the-mill slasher fare showing the filmmakers desperately trying to use extreme gore in favor of effective scares which proves to be easier said than done. This film takes us in the fictional town of Harmony, where a mine collapse takes the lives of six coal miners while leaving one survivor Harry Warden. Awaking from a coma, Warden steps back into his coal mining suit and uses his pick- axe to slaughter teenagers on the night of Valentines Day. Upon escaping the massacre, Tom (played by Jensen Ackles), ten years later, returns to his hometown where he and his former girlfriend (played by Jaime King), her husband Sheriff Axel (played by Kerr Smith), college-aged Megan (played by Megan Boone) and sexy hotshot Irene (played by Betsy Rue) are threatened by the vicious coal miner who continues on his killing spree. And to matters worse for Tom, Axel and local officials are pointing their fingers at him as the suspect.
This movie operates on the middle-of-the-road recipe for slasher flicks so precisely it almost renders the story predictable, and thus, leaves itself running low on surprises. While it is not a complete wasteland running on empty with scares as there are a few genuine moments of menacing tone when the ruthless coal miner wields his pick-axe, it feels almost nothing more than a simply rehash of slasher movie clichés. Horny teenagers throw a drinking party that suddenly interrupted by a masked psychopath? Check. A man and a woman engage in sex, securing their vulnerability for the killer? Check. A character gets chased by the killer and makes the ill- advised decision of running anywhere but the exit? Check. And with fairly no surprise, there is never a character to come across and truly root for until the end. Whether the character lives to the end or dies will most likely not be on viewers' minds. It is just that character development never seems to be a convenient element in the genre. Of course, not everyone comes to sit with characters they come to care about but instead watch them in slaughtered with in an ultra-gory frenzy. For a vicious bloodbath, there are a few effective moments, particularly the scenes that send blood and guts flying into the screen in 3-D. But it is only a matter time before the joy of the fancy gimmick wears out. Only those with strong stomach are capable of handling the sight of people getting stabbed, decapitated, and impaled in disturbingly inventive ways by a man in a coal mining suit.
My Bloody Valentine is unflinchingly gory and violent to its core, but whether viewers will find themselves entertained will partially depend on their concern for the unnecessary rehash of clichés the film throws at you. If blood and gore is their treat, they are definitely in for the ride. But for everyone else, that's a different story to say the least. Regardless, it is ultimately forgettable.
This movie operates on the middle-of-the-road recipe for slasher flicks so precisely it almost renders the story predictable, and thus, leaves itself running low on surprises. While it is not a complete wasteland running on empty with scares as there are a few genuine moments of menacing tone when the ruthless coal miner wields his pick-axe, it feels almost nothing more than a simply rehash of slasher movie clichés. Horny teenagers throw a drinking party that suddenly interrupted by a masked psychopath? Check. A man and a woman engage in sex, securing their vulnerability for the killer? Check. A character gets chased by the killer and makes the ill- advised decision of running anywhere but the exit? Check. And with fairly no surprise, there is never a character to come across and truly root for until the end. Whether the character lives to the end or dies will most likely not be on viewers' minds. It is just that character development never seems to be a convenient element in the genre. Of course, not everyone comes to sit with characters they come to care about but instead watch them in slaughtered with in an ultra-gory frenzy. For a vicious bloodbath, there are a few effective moments, particularly the scenes that send blood and guts flying into the screen in 3-D. But it is only a matter time before the joy of the fancy gimmick wears out. Only those with strong stomach are capable of handling the sight of people getting stabbed, decapitated, and impaled in disturbingly inventive ways by a man in a coal mining suit.
My Bloody Valentine is unflinchingly gory and violent to its core, but whether viewers will find themselves entertained will partially depend on their concern for the unnecessary rehash of clichés the film throws at you. If blood and gore is their treat, they are definitely in for the ride. But for everyone else, that's a different story to say the least. Regardless, it is ultimately forgettable.