Stalker (1979)
5/10
"Don't stick your nose in someone's underwear if you don't understand it."
13 November 2017
Warning: Spoilers
How many of you kept waiting..., and waiting..., and waiting..., for something to happen - for the big surprise - for anything at all? When this movie finished, I had to concede that director Andrei Tarkovsky is perhaps the master of saying nothing in the longest amount of time possible. On top of that, the dialog was incoherent and went absolutely nowhere. If I wasn't a stickler for watching an entire movie for the sake of writing a review here, I would have given up well before the half way mark.

Now lest I sound a bit out of sorts here, I'd like to point to a few other reviews by those who seemingly purport to understand what this was all about. One states "It's like a poem written with objects. We must feel before we try to understand". Another writer says that the movie has 'a well thought out and concise perspective'. And one more, who claims "The scenery is evocatively atmospheric, mundane but in a good way".

Note that not one of these folks said anything that offers any help in following the story or what it's about. In fact, if you go to the FAQ page for this film on IMDb, there's not a word of explanation mentioned about what's going on, unlike other esoteric films that can be translated in some meaningful way. I would point to films like "Inception" and "Donnie Darko" to make my point on that.

So what we seem to have here is an existential, dystopian Seinfeld episode about nothing. My summary line is an actual quote from the 'stalker' in the movie, warning his fellow travelers by advising them to stick close by his side, lest they fall prey to some hidden danger in 'The Zone'. By the time this thing was over, after all mind-numbing one hundred sixty two minutes of it, I had to concur with the words of The Professor who at one point near the end of the story said "...it makes no sense to me at all".
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