5/10
Luc Besson's colorful, kooky visual methodology is the best thing you experience in this goofy sci-fi romp, not much else
13 December 2017
It is hard to root for Luc Besson's science-fiction adventure being in the blockbuster of the summer, particularly with 'Wonder Woman', 'Spiderman: Homecoming', Christopher Nolan's 'Dunkirk', and Edgar Wright's 'Baby Driver' hitting all the multiplexes. It is not, however, unreasonable to believe that Besson's rendition of the popular graphic novel series of the same name boasted some potential. This film marks a perfect opportunity for the French director in indulge in this extravagant visual versatility, and he does so with shockingly stellar use. But everything else dominated this big-budget adventure leaves his visual style standing lonesome among other assets that fail to bring the film to life in the way it is valuable. There is plenty of fantasy-based action and battle sequences that pay more than a fair amount of homages to Besson's earlier film 'The Fifth Element' and a moody futuristic production design complete with CGI that is absolutely breathtaking to say the least. But in terms of narrative and direction, everything that transpires in its overlong runtime equates a ludicrously hot mess. For all the fun and thrills to be spared, there is not excitement to compensate for the overarching flaws that send this sci-fi romp sinking under the surface. Opening up with montages of the Space Race during the Cold War before proceeding into the future; this film opens up on Planet Mul, a place inhabited with blue Avatar-like aliens who live in harmony. Their peaceful lives are soon disrupted when explosion crash erupt from the sky and crash down the planet, forcing most of its inhabitants to escape to another planet. This calls for intergalactic space agents Valerian (played by Dane DeHaan) and his hotshot partner Laureline (played by Cara Delevigne) by their commander (played by Clive Owen) to set out on a conquest to the ginormous city of Alpha, a place where thousands of cities and tribes are crunched together in a futuristic society, and go after the source that destroyed the planet and save the future of not the only the residents of Alpha but the future of the human race.

This adventure skews deep into the zone of style-over-substance without paying solid attention to how uneven it is. Sure, Luc Besson's visual style is absolutely outstanding to the point where you can''t help but forgive the bloated use of CGI scattering all the across the map. The design of Alpha, a Blade Runner-like planet with small world clapped together in a downtown sort of structure that appears to go on forever, is beautiful to look at. The writing, on the other hand, is another story. Our two main heroes are kicked into a wild adventure through a wacky world of bizarre-looking creatures ripped from H.P. Lovecraft books, and the journey goes into a zig-zag of ridiculous detours while failing bear any proper character development. Battering its straightforward storyline in favor of intertwines with the title character going through long stretches to save her partner Laureline who he has deep feelings for, and Laureline making numerous attempts to do the same, the film pummels its plot into a pulpy mess at the expense of thrills that come far and few in between. And it most certainly does not help that neither of their characters are remotely interesting. Dane DeHaan feels significantly miscast in his title role, while Cara Delevigne bears a small amount of charisma that makes up the lack of characterization these two are forced to bear. Then there is an overlong scene where we not only come across a goofy Ethan Hawke playing a pimp with a loopy disguise that is far too goofy to take seriously, but introduced to Rihanna playing a stripper who performs a provocative dance in attempt to seduce the title hero. This scene could not feel more out of place. While viewers are left to relish in a few thrilling, well-shot action sequences complete with laser gunfights and hacking-and-slashing, it is not long before the fun eventually wears off and places you in the position of asking how many more minutes are left in the runtime which is awfully long for the story the film operates on.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is not a total slog as it least has it moments to spare for the overarching flaws that could its judgement. But it is far from a great sci-fi tale nor does bear any resemblance of what otherwise could have been a thoroughly top-notch adventure into the world of science-fiction. Some may argue that this film has a shot at growing a cult status, similar to 'The Fifth Element'. Sure, that is possible. But it does not take away from the hot mess it is.
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