1/10
Are they kidding me with those deaths?
20 March 2018
Warning: Spoilers
The mother basically surrenders to Dollface, someone she could easily have tried to at least kick before letting her stab her multiple times for no reason. The father crashes the car into a wall only to be punctured in the stomach and that's it? Nothing that made the original memorable was present here. Instead, the usual horror cliches are plenty. Goth chick with no reason to hate the world? Check. Cop that gets shot as soon as final girl asks for help? Check. A main killer with superhero strength? Check. Radio/phone that's on loud speaker so it leads to a noise outside announcing the killer has heard them? Check. 80s songs devoid of any real connection to the plot thrown in constantly just to be trendy? Check. Cars on fire crashing and roaming empty streets where absolutely not a single soul spots the ongoing chaos? The trailer park isn't just abandoned, it's zombie-apocalypse abandoned - and it's gigantic. Did I mention not a SINGLE car drives by the entire night, on that gigantic radius, with the exception of said cop who, clearly, gets hits throat slashed the second he gets out of the car. The original was an exercise in atmospheric horror: you felt as if you were there, inside that cabin. You also rooted for the main couple because their story felt genuine. This is, unfortunately, a dud.
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