Gilligan's Island (1964–1992)
7/10
Eeeeeehh...
2 July 2018
Warning: Spoilers
I have a love/hate relationship with this show. First, I'll tell you the good. Then, I'll tell you the bad. This is the good:

This show is a good sitcom, one of the best sitcoms ever made. It has an original premise, all seven characters are unique and complex. This is one of Sherwood Schwartz's gems. He also made The Brady Bunch, a tasteless garbage fire of a boring white bread family lovey-dovey comedy. He made this one first, and I don't know how he could make a good sitcom like this and then go make The Brady Bunch. This one is at least interesting. This one is cool, classic, timeless. It has a good aesthetic. I can't believe Sherwood Schwartz made both of them. This one has some real jokes. This one has conflict.

It's family friendly. My favorite character is probably The Skipper. He's funny because he's fat. Everybody else is also OK. The concept is relatively original, sort of like a contemporary Robinsonade. This TV show is, uh, really good. It's from back when TV was original and fun. I can sit through this sitcom because it's wacky and every episode is different, but it feels real. The colors are vibrant.

Now for the part that I hate. mainly, that it's based off Robinson Crusoe, which was written centuries before this show. Robinson Crusoe was written back when people still hadn't gotten to California. It was written before the age of radar, motors, GPS, or the like. Gilligan's island is set in the present day (and by that I mean the sixties), when finding seven people on an island would be very easy. Thus, the whole premise of the show is absurd and laughable, and is such a plothole that it prevents you from enjoying very much else.

The first episode is the only really believable one. Gilligan and Skipper go out on a raft to try to find help, then give up and end up back on the island. That's the only one that feels as if it's set in the real world. If I was stuck on an island, the first thing I'd do would be maybe try to build a raft and get off the island. That first episode is the only time we see any characters on the water, or trying to get off the island in any sort of way. The first season is the only one that feels all that real. The last two seasons are fantasy. Multiple people get on the island- but they always get amnesia, or something, and never bother to tell the world that there are seven people on the island. It's a bizarre coincidence which I prefer to call a plot device. These seven people never get off the island. Why not?

Do they want to stay there? I don't think they do. They all have lives apart from being on the island. so why don't they ever try getting off? This show, behind all the jokes, is depressing. I don't like watching people suffer. It's not enjoyable. Mr. Howell, in one episode, is revealed to have been rumored to be dead back on the mainland, but an impostor tries to impersonate him and says that Mrs. Howell died on the Minnow. That's Creepypasta level horror. How can seven people just vanish without being noticed? Gilligan might not be noticed- Skipper might not be noticed- Mary Ann might not be noticed- Professor would probably be noticed, considering he's a genius- Mr. Howell would be noticed, considering he's a billionaire, and Ginger would be noticed, since she's a movie star and everything. What sort of universe does this take place in? Seven people disappear, and everybody just thinks they died? Nobody searches for them, or anything? That's ridiculous. It's not even Mary Celeste level perplexing. they're on an island. It's a pretty big island, as far as I can tell- and random islands don't just happen. Most Pacific islands are known about. I mean, they had satellites and stuff back in the Sixties! And airplanes! They didn't have Google Maps, but they weren't barbarians!

But society as a whole isn't entirely to blame for this tragedy. The castaways themselves are just as much to blame. At any time, they could lash together a few palm trees and make a crude sailing vessel- not as good as The Minnow, but just enough to take them back to the Mainland. They act completely helpless. Over the course of the show, they make all kinds of things that real castaways would never need- washing machines, bathtubs, huts that rival huts in Florida- I mean, they can do all that, but they can't make a boat? That's nuts. The island has plenty of vegetation that they could use to get off- but they never do. Are they stupid?

Yes, to some extent. Skipper says that he's good at ocean navigation, but never tries to save them or get them off the island. Gilligan is irritating and immature. Mary Ann knows almost nothing. Ginger is vain. Mr. Howell is selfish and egotistical. Mrs. Howell is just as bad. The Professor is the only smart one out of the bunch, and even he doesn't realize that they could just make a raft, so I don't really have much sympathy for him, either. This is a show about idiots suffering. I don't like idiots, but I can't stand watching them suffer, either. Of course, they're not really suffering- but they're isolated from civilization and they're broken husks of their former selves. This show is really very dark. The show could give a reason as to why they couldn't get off. The trees are all too heavy, and can't float, or the island has no trees, or something like that. Or maybe the island has a forcefield that's invulnerable to radar. I don't know. Just some sort of explanation. There never is any explanation.

But what bothers me most of all- is that this show had really good potential for a series finale. In the finale, they could finally get off the island. In the last episode, do they get rescued? No, of course not. It's just another plot, like all the other ones. Why? If the show was ending, they should have resolved the main conflict- the conflict of them being on the island. That would have been a good ending. it would have wrapped up everything, made it all seem complete. Instead, they had to make a movie about them getting off the island- which isn't good. I just don't get it. If they had ended the conflict, that would be fine- because we'd know what happened to them.

The good? Well, the dream sequences are fantastic- and serve to give the show some diversions away from the setting. My two favorite episodes are the one where they switch bodies and the one about the mutated vegetables. Alan Hale is funny. The theme song is catchy. That's it. That's what I can say about this show. I like it.
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