6/10
The other Golden Ninja Warrior film
7 February 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Ninja Terminator seems to be the most famous collaborative effort from Godfrey Ho and Joseph Lai. God knows why. They're all gems! I got a few theories though. THAT WIG for one. That Garfield phone. The awesomely fetishistic opening sequence with all those shiny, sharp, only slightly out of focus weapons, as well as the following...

DUBBING: Steamed Crabs! and other delights. Why do these South Koreans, in South Korea, sound like they're from Chicago? Like i'm complaining.

NINJA: The evil ninja master who finds everything hilarious was quite an opening act. He was followed strongly though by some good acrobatics and ninjacanery around some ancient looking shrine. A crab gets a throwing knife to the shell. Hope that was glued on. The ending was incredible and very appropriate. The Ninja Empire's robot messengers provide some of the most memorable sequence's in Ho's ENTIRE filmography. I found myself uncontrollably laughing at the idea that these AA powered messenger's of death wearn't sturdy enough even to carry a VHS. They had to slide it in on their back. No wonder only two Ninja TRAITOR's took on this empire and won.

THE MOVIE BEFORE NINJA: Uninvited Guest is a 105 minute martial arts crime picture from South Korea that features plenty of innovative choreography and charming fashion choices. A great intentionally funny moment when our protagonist kicks a goon into a car boot which then slams shut. the other goons drive off in the car with the aforementioned goon still in the boot. Great stuff. Harrison's footage blends in better than Ninja Dragon's.

CEASE AND DIS SOUNDTRACK: Ohmaiiiii! Tangerine Dream and Pink Floyd, on one soundtrack, none the wiser of their contributions to psychotronic cinema. An obscure number from TD's soundtrack for Thief, of all things and Floyd's Echoes in a quite hairy love scene. It's gonna take some balls for another Ho film to top this, 'borrowing' from two of the most infamously hawkish bands in this regard.

In conclusion, Ninja Terminator has plenty of Ninja, High kicks and rocking onesies and Steamed Crabs! and black magic invincibility spells. Starting Ninja here is not a bad idea at all.
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