3/10
Stay out of furniture stores slasher kids
24 October 2019
Warning: Spoilers
The poster for this says it all: In the tradition of Friday the 13th and Halloween...

Notice: It doesn't say from the makers of. Or from the people who brought you.

Also known as Close Your Eyes and Pray in the U.K., this movie is all about a bunch of teens having a graduation party in a furniture store before they're stalked and slashed by a cross-dressing killer. Obviously, the movie Chopping Mall doesn't exist in this universe, because I'd never celebrate in a furniture store after that one.

After the murder of a hooker, we get right into the story, as four couples all gather in the aforementioned furniture store without realizing that an ex-con is living in the basement.

A game of hide and go seek turns into two different sexual situations that are broken up by the cross-dressing killer, who uses a trident to kill the first two of many. And of course, despite those two being missing, the gang continues its carnal lock-in and just goes to sleep.

This is yet another continuation of the trope of sex equals death. There is, however, an amazing kill in this one where an elevator completely severs the heads of one of these teens.

It also has an amazing reveal at the end: the killer ends up being Fred's gay prison lover, who feels like the kids were coming between them. Yes, Fred was dating all of the kids. That makes sense, Zack. Yes, Zack is the killer's name. Have you ever heard of a frightening killer named Zack?

Director Skip Schoolnik also edited Halloween 2 - the original - so he should know a thing about a good slasher.
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