Review of The Bride

The Bride (1985)
5/10
This misfire remake of Bride of Frankenstein has some interesting parts...
6 December 2019
... but fails to add up to much. For some reason, the doctor's name is Charles this time around. Rock star Sting stars as Chuck Frankenstein, who has already created his original monster (Clancy Brown) as the film begins, and he's in the midst of creating his piecemeal bride. Assisting him are Quentin Crisp as a stand-in for the old film's Pretorius, and Timothy Spall as an Igor-type. Things go south, and Clancy goes on the run. Chuck decides to "raise" the beautiful bride (Jennifer Beals) as his ward, and introduce her into high society. Clancy meets a traveling dwarf (David Rappaport) who decides to name the creature Viktor, and they eventually start to work in a circus. Much of the film is a split narrative. Half follows Chuck Frankenstein and the bride, now named Eva, while the other half follows Viktor and his life in the circus.

Also featuring comedian Alexei Sayle, Anthony Higgins, 60's supermodel Veruschka as a Countess, Cary Elwes as a dashing young courtier, and Geraldine Page as Chuck's housekeeper and tutor to Eva. The costumes are nice, and there's an old-fashioned score by Maurice Jarre. The problems come from a lack of narrative flow, little momentum, and some underwritten characters. Frankenstein completists should see it for the variations on the theme, but most viewers will be bored when they're not rolling their eyes. This was originally touted as being a feminist take on the story, but I didn't really see that then or now.

Too bad Jennifer Beal wasn't justly compensated for "Flashdance" two years earlier - she only got 15K for her role! - or she might have had better roles to choose from than this.
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