The Bride (1985)
7/10
Here comes the bride, stitched up and electrified.
12 June 2020
Warning: Spoilers
The Bride totally misjudged what movie-goers wanted at the time of its release: while Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorhees were making millions by gorily hacking up teenagers, this reimagining of James Whale's Bride Of Frankenstein, from director Franc Roddam (Quadrophenia), gave us a classic creature, gothic romanticism, lavish sets, and sumptuous cinematography. Not scary or gory enough for the mainstream horror crowd, yet too fantastical for Merchant-Ivory fans who might have appreciated the period setting, largely British cast and romantic drama, the film inevitably suffered at the box office.

While no means a great film - Sting and Jennifer Beals see to that - neither is it the total disaster that its commercial failure suggests. The 'Of Mice and Men' inspired plot is actually pretty good, as Baron Frankenstein's creature (Clancy Brown), having escaped his master's flaming laboratory, teams up with a midget called Rinaldo (played by David Rappaport, who looks like a mini Woody Harrelson to me) on his journey to Budapest, where he intends to join a circus. The two unlikely friends face prejudice and derision, even after they arrive at their destination, which eventually leads to tragedy. Meanwhile, Frankenstein (Sting) educates his second creation Eva (Beals), the beautiful woman originally intended as a mate for his first experiment, in the ways of the world. Connected by a psychic link, the paths of the film's two stitched-together characters eventually cross, with the creature saving Eva from the baron, who has decided to keep his hot D.I.Y. woman for himself.

The best scenes in the film definitely belong to Brown and Rappaport, whose touching performances help to make up for Sting and Beals' less than stellar acting. Fortunately, the 'little and large' friendship comprises the bulk of the film, meaning that, for most of the time, it's a lot of fun. The circus bound action is made even more enjoyable by the presence of Alexei Sayle as the horrible owner of the show and Phil Daniels as his murderous right-hand man.

Unsurprisingly, The Police frontman and the Flashdance star (who was nominated for a Razzie for her performance) tend to drag the film down whenever they are on screen, but their parts are necessary to facilitate a satisfying conclusion, in which the monster (who looks and acts more and more 'human' as the film progresses) rescues his mate (throwing his creator to his death from the top of the castle tower) and finds happiness at last. An adorable couple, I'm sure you'll agree.
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