Horror House On Highway Five is easily one of the worst films ever made. Not just a badly acted and technically inept piece of cinematic swill, but also something so inexplicably strange that one cannot adequately explain its existence. Why would people spend time, money and effort on creating something so utterly impenetrable? It's the same question I had recently whilst watching Skullduggery (1983), another diabolical slice of unfathomable '80s horror (now there's a double-bill I never hope to see).
This film sees three students - Louise (Susan Leslie), Mike (Michael Castagnolia) and Sally (Irene Cagen) - trying to complete a project on the development of the V2 missile. While Sally goes to interview Dr. Marbuse (Phil Therrien), an authority on German rocket scientist Frederick Bartholomew, Louise and Mike drive out to the countryside in their van to build and launch a scale model of the V2. Sally is captured and chained up by Marbuse and his mentally challenged brother Gary (don't ask me why), and Louise and Mike are attacked by a strange man in a rubber President Nixon mask (again, no idea why).
Writer/director Richard Casey, who also made the atrocious Hellbent (1988), either has no idea how to tell a decent story, or he's trying to win a bet -- either way, the film is a puzzling mess from start to finish. There's no explanation for the intro scene in which a plain looking woman takes a shower, after which she is attacked by Nixon: Who is she? Why is she being attacked? Why is she so particular about the position of her pot plant? Does the soundtrack LP for Disney's Alice In Wonderland get a regular spin on her turn table? Why doesn't the massive gash on her wrist bleed very much?
As the film progresses, more questions follow: Why is Sally held captive? Why does Marbuse have maggots in his head? Why does Gary dance like that? What's with the random shot of Louise diving into a swimming pool? Why is there a dead cat in Mike's van? Who is the dead guy by the trash can and where does he go to? Why does Gary burn sally with an iron? What are those funny whooshing sounds when Mike investigates a house? Why is there a rake lying around? Who is that guy driving the van at the end of the film? And why, with the exception of Susan Leslie, is the cast for this disaster so un-photogenic? It's enough to make your head hurt.
Perhaps the biggest questions I have right now are, why did Casey make a sequel to this film almost two decades later (Horror House on Highway Six) and is there any way it can be worse than this one?
This film sees three students - Louise (Susan Leslie), Mike (Michael Castagnolia) and Sally (Irene Cagen) - trying to complete a project on the development of the V2 missile. While Sally goes to interview Dr. Marbuse (Phil Therrien), an authority on German rocket scientist Frederick Bartholomew, Louise and Mike drive out to the countryside in their van to build and launch a scale model of the V2. Sally is captured and chained up by Marbuse and his mentally challenged brother Gary (don't ask me why), and Louise and Mike are attacked by a strange man in a rubber President Nixon mask (again, no idea why).
Writer/director Richard Casey, who also made the atrocious Hellbent (1988), either has no idea how to tell a decent story, or he's trying to win a bet -- either way, the film is a puzzling mess from start to finish. There's no explanation for the intro scene in which a plain looking woman takes a shower, after which she is attacked by Nixon: Who is she? Why is she being attacked? Why is she so particular about the position of her pot plant? Does the soundtrack LP for Disney's Alice In Wonderland get a regular spin on her turn table? Why doesn't the massive gash on her wrist bleed very much?
As the film progresses, more questions follow: Why is Sally held captive? Why does Marbuse have maggots in his head? Why does Gary dance like that? What's with the random shot of Louise diving into a swimming pool? Why is there a dead cat in Mike's van? Who is the dead guy by the trash can and where does he go to? Why does Gary burn sally with an iron? What are those funny whooshing sounds when Mike investigates a house? Why is there a rake lying around? Who is that guy driving the van at the end of the film? And why, with the exception of Susan Leslie, is the cast for this disaster so un-photogenic? It's enough to make your head hurt.
Perhaps the biggest questions I have right now are, why did Casey make a sequel to this film almost two decades later (Horror House on Highway Six) and is there any way it can be worse than this one?