Life Sentence (2018)
2/10
Fruit Which Hangs So Low, It Must be Dug Up.
8 December 2020
If this is what defines current-day comedy, Jesus, take me now. Characters from the Millennial Comedia del Arte, spewing dialogue so predictable, I can count on two hands-----in the first episode----the number of times I could predict the punch lines to ultra-weak setups. The on-screen people (I won't write 'actors', because then it would imply I mean all of them, and that wouldn't be fair to those who aren't flavor-of-the-month print ad models) are trying. Mostly to remember their lines, god bless 'em, and deliver them in fewer than 15 takes. I appreciate that talent agents have difficult jobs, and I appreciate that they have a big sigh of relief when the next mortgage payment can be made as a result of landing a role for a client. But how do the agents sleep at night, knowing they've all but hobbled said clients from ever getting hired for a future Buick commercial? The script is formulaic. A joke (that's being generous) every 30 seconds, and at each 17 minutes, time for an advertisement (which aren't on Netflix---though I wish they were: I'd time myself to watch the ads and mute the speakers in-between 'em). I believe producers and writers have created an ascendingly moronic audience while at the same time, delivered descendingly artistic or genuine entertainment for those who have the dreadful choice each day of Xbox, Playstation, Tik-Tok, YouTube, Netflix or Amazon Prime Video. So many choices of Vapidity for the Sincerely Vacuous. Where on Earth does one start? This medium has now been around for 80 years. Technology has taken it places that people from its inception to even ten years ago couldn't have imagined. Packaging and delivery is now as efficient as Friday Night Pizza. So why haven't the writing, production and acting kept pace? Until the viewing public launch their own version of the climactic scene in "Les Miserables", barricading their brains and time from the onslaught of destructive, muzzle-loaded boring boorishness, we have no one to blame but ourselves. It has been said before, and it's being repeated right now, the reason there are no modern Mozarts, Shakespeares or Judy Garlands is because the public doesn't demand any. Please. Start demanding, and stop compromising, beginning with "Life Sentence". The title implies what should be given to most of the people associated with this drivel. And absolutely no chance for parole.
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