Review of Rolf

Rolf (1984)
3/10
All Hail Rolf the Ridiculous!
31 January 2021
This cheap and obscure Italian exploitation effort actually stood on my must-see list, and even quite high, I may add. That probably was because I read something about an infamous and ultimately sadist sequence in which a troop of mercenaries use innocent children as target practice. The scene does exist, as part of a flashback, and the idea is definitely sick and twisted, but - as with everything else in this dud - the execution isn't the least bit shocking or unsettling.

As far as shameless and excessively violent "rumble-in-the-jungle" exploitation goes, our Italians friends made far more entertaining movies, like "Blastfighter", "Strike Commando", "War Bus" and "Striker". All the aforementioned are also bad movies, mind you, but at least they are fun to watch. "Rolf" - what a terrible name for an action hero, by the way - is dull, poorly acted, horribly edited and full of dreadful clichés. Apart from a pathetic name, Rolf also has zero charisma. Poor Rolf only has a lousy childhood trauma (mommy was a heroin prostitute) and a derivative story to tell. When he refuses to transport drugs for his former mercenary buddies, they respond by gang-raping and murdering his fiancée. He strikes back by ambushing and killing them; - end of summary.
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