2/10
Both stars for the title
12 July 2021
Warning: Spoilers
How can sharks get into a cornfield? Who would name their town Druid Hills? Why would you let a serial killer sit in the back of your police car? How did Stonehenge get to Kentucky?

Tim Ritter (Hi-Death is his last movie we reviewed, but his career goes all the way back to Day of the Reaper which was shot for $1,000 in 1984) wrote and directed this one and man, that poster really speaks to me. There's also a great scene where a computer shows the sharks swimming through the rows of corn and it looks a lot like Frogger. And man, how many lines from Jaws can you get into a movie?

There's a serial killer named Teddy Bo Lucas, an FBI agent with his own agenda, shark cults, Bigfoot and a scene that has so much surface noise that it sounds like they put more noise over the top of it to hide it, which means that every word was a complete jumble. Also, lots of driving. Also - a child gets killed and sprays blood all over his dinosaur frisbee while his parents hold one another and cry. Also, still more driving around.

I mean, the main character's name is Sheriff Scheider. If that makes you laugh, then this is completely the movie for you.

Somehow, there is no Malaki Kintner.
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