The Fast Lady (1962)
4/10
Tag line: 'She's the fastest thing in town and oh boy! what a chassis!'
14 November 2021
Warning: Spoilers
The second in a trio of comedy films starring Leslie Phillips, Stanley Baxter and James Robertson Justice, all directed by reliable comedy director, Ken Annakin. This mildly entertaining romp, despite its advertising poster's focus on Phillips, starred Stanley Baxter as the dour council employee, Murdoch Troon, determined to learn how to handle the eponymous vintage Bentley to gain the hand of the girl of his dreams.

An adapted screenplay from a 1925 novel, it depends largely for its comedic effect on situational comedy so only really gets into first gear when the audience accompany Troon on his misadventures behind the wheel of his Bentley. This is unsurprising given that the screenplay was written by Jack Davies, who had penned several of Norman Wisdom's most popular features. As such, we have a series of unfortunate driving instructors hiding behind their hands as Troon flouts all aspects of the Highway Code.

In terms of the cast, Phillips comfortably plays his stereotypical lecherous cad, in this case, a car salesman intent on his fellow lodger, Troon, buying 'The Fast Lady' as a means of both saving his job, and advancing his career through Troon succeeding in capturing the heart of the daughter of an influential and curmudgeonly owner of a sports car dealership. The latter is superbly portrayed by James Robertson Justice, in his element here, pompously ordering around all and sundry with his booming voice. Cast as his daughter is the voluptuous Julie Christie, in her second cinematic role, having also appeared alongside Phillips, Baxter and Robertson Justice in 'Crooks Anonymous' earlier in the same year. Just twelve months later she would be propelled to stardom by her appearance in 'Billy Liar'.

A poor man's 'Norman Wisdom', Baxter takes on the role of main protagonist here in the most prominent feature of his short cinematic career. Born to a pushy, showbiz-obsessed mother, Baxter appeared in BBC radio productions from the age of thirteen. During the Second World War, he would hone his comedic talents as a member of a British Army entertainments unit in Singapore, where he would meet his lifelong friend, Kenneth Williams. The Glaswegian comedian and impersonator plays the awkward civil servant and avid cyclist,Troon, run off the road by Robertson Justice in his Rolls Royce in the opening scene of the movie. Determined to exact reparation, he tracks down the tycoon to his large country estate, where he, literally, 'falls for' Christie's charms. Therein, lies the main weakness of the film, in that Baxter never captures enough of an endearing character for the audience to truly comprehend her reciprocal feelings for this erratic and cantankerous individual, despite any draw to a man in a kilt quoting Robbie Burns.

Though the film can appear to offer quite a partisan portrayal of Scottishness, Baxter would later proclaim that 'Scots can deny it as much as they like, but I've seen a lot of anti-English sentiment expressed north of the border but never anti-Scots sentiment south of the border.' On his appearance in this film, Baxter would later recall how well he and Leslie Phillips got on, revealing that they nearly went into their own film production feature which sadly fell through. As for Roberson-Justice, he was impressed by his range of knowledge and once asked him on set if he had a photographic memory, to which the bewhiskered giant replied: 'Yes, apart from these f!^!ing lines I need to learn for tomorrow'.

Once Troon witnesses her love for the old vintage Bentley, he determines to learn how to drive it, transforming himself from the two-wheeled bane of a motorist's life into a 'petrol-head'. Thereafter follow bet and counter-bet as Robertson-Justice attempts to derail the budding romance between his daughter and the abysmal Scottish driver, who dreams of conquering the race-track ahead of John Surtees and Graham Hill - who make brief cameo appearances. Interestingly, Robertson-Justice's character, Charles Chingford, claims to have raced at Brooklands, which the burly Scot did in his adventurous exploits in the early Twenties ahead of his thespian career.

The film becomes more entertaining with the madcap adventures of Troon on the highway, accompanied by the rousing, traditional jazz, soundtrack provided by none other than Norrie Paramor, the producer behind the success of Cliff Richard & the Shadows together with Helen Shapiro, and the second all-time producer of number one hits in the UK behind George Martin. Having failed to impress his stern driving instructor on his final test, and seemingly having thereby lost the hand of his intended, Troon's Bentley is commandeered by the local constabulary to set off in pursuit of some bank robbers. At last, Troon is able to legally drive with no abandon to capture both the criminals and his fair lady.

This final chase sequence features cameos from a stream of comedy stars, from Frankie Howerd having to take cover in a manhole, Bernard Cribbins as a poor unfortunate on a hospital stretcher, and Clive Dunn as an old man jumping from a burning building straight into the Bentley's back seat. One wonders if the seeds were planted in both the director and screenwriter's minds here of the star-studded romp which would be 'Monte Carlo or Bust', which they would co-write and film seven years later.

The cast, aside from Christie, would reassemble just twelve months later for their third venture. As for the 'Fast lady' herself, having been purchased by the studio in 1959, she was sold to private owners and is still going strong today.
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