Imagine buying a nice two-story, four-bedroom house for your family, only to discover crooks have been using it as a stash house. "Morbid Stories" director Asif Akbar's half-baked crime thriller "The Commando," co-starring Michael Jai White, Mickey Rourke, and Jeff Fahey, appropriates all the usual tropes of a standard-issue, plot-by-the-numbers home invasion melodrama. Cast as a murderous ex-con named Johnny Norris who stole $3 million in cash, Mickey Rourke qualifies as a flabby villain. Legendary B-movie nemesis Jeff Fahey of "The Lawnmower Man" plays a shady sheriff in cahoots with Johnny. Michael Jai White is the hero of this improbable 93-minute potboiler. "Dying to Kill" scenarist Koji Steven Sakai's superficial script serves up no surprises, and its logic seems skewered. Despite his conviction for robbing a bank and killing a guard, Johnny persuades the parole board to release him based on his exemplary military heroics in the Middle East. Mind you, it is difficult to believe nobody searched Johnny's house after he went to prison. Meantime, DEA Agent James Baker (Michael Jai White of "Spawn"), is recovering from a botched bust. "The Commando" opens with a bullet-riddled raid on an illegal narcotics lab in an abandoned warehouse. Baker swapped lead with a sentry. Although his bullets missed the sentry, those slugs struck three young innocent females held hostage in the room where the sentry was holed up. Now, the grief-stricken Baker struggles with PSTD since he hasn't come to grips with the enormity of his action. Finally, when he comes home to the house that Johnny once owned, Baker entrusts his gun to his wife Lisa (Aris Mejias of "The Vessel") for safekeeping.
Johnny's two brothers, Rudy (Cord Newman of "Streets of Blood") and Matthew (Matthew Van Wettering of "12 Strong"), pick him up in their yellow Mustang and cruise back to their garage where they restore cars. Johnny slips Rudy a map of the places he stashed the money. He wants Rudy, Matthew, and their volatile Scottish mechanic Dominic (Gianni Capaldi of "Robert the Bruce") to stake out their old residence and break into it later when the owners are away. Johnny warns Dominic to stay straight until they remove the $3 million. Meantime, James' daughter Dyana (newcomer Andrea Sherrill) stumbles onto one of Johnny's stashes. Dyana's sister Natalie (Noa Maes of "Into America's Wild") compliments her sister on her new clothes. Dyana shows Natalie the stacks of $100 bills under a loose floorboard in her bedroom. She offers to share, but Natalie declines. Instead, she urges Dyana to tell their parents. Predictably, Dyana doesn't. Later, while they eat supper, Dyana surprises her parents with a gift of resort motel reservations. James calls it a second honeymoon. At the same time, Dyana has been planning a secret soiree with their friends after their folks leave. Neither the Baker sisters nor their parents realize they are being surveilled by Johnny's two brothers and Dominic.
The villains wait impatiently for the party goers to leave so they can retrieve their money. Breaking his promise to Johnny, Dominic chokes down some white pills and calls them "the calm before the storm." Seizing his silenced pistol, the Scotsman breaks up the party and starts gunning down the guests. Desperately, Natalie uses her cell phone to contact her dad. Frantically, James and Luis careen back before the villains are finished. Apparently, James and Lisa hadn't gone too far when Natalie called. Nevertheless, trigger-happy Dominic has shot several unarmed guests. James' friend Sebastian (Brendan Fehr of "Final Destination") suffers the deadly fate of being the hero's best friend. Naturally, Johnny goes berserk when he hears about the massacre. He storms the premises with a biker gang. Inevitably, James and Johnny tangle. Just as James gains an advantage over Johnny, despicable Sheriff Alexander interrupts them with his drawn gun.
Director Asif Akbar and scenarist Koji Steven Sakai expect audiences to believe the New Mexico State Parole Board would free a murderer who refused to divulge the whereabouts of his plunder in return for clemency. When they found the hidden packets of loot in the floor, the Baker sisters prised the floorboards out of place with their fingertips! Oddly enough, you would think Dyana's new wardrobe would have aroused Luis' suspicions. Moreover, in the first place, the addlepated authorities should have ransacked Johnny's domicile. Dyana's bogus story about a friend giving up their motel reservations should have made her parents think twice. Sadly, nothing about Kieran Gallagher's fight choreography is special. The only excuse for suffering through a second-rate saga like "The Commando" is if you're stuck in quarantine with nothing else to watch.
Johnny's two brothers, Rudy (Cord Newman of "Streets of Blood") and Matthew (Matthew Van Wettering of "12 Strong"), pick him up in their yellow Mustang and cruise back to their garage where they restore cars. Johnny slips Rudy a map of the places he stashed the money. He wants Rudy, Matthew, and their volatile Scottish mechanic Dominic (Gianni Capaldi of "Robert the Bruce") to stake out their old residence and break into it later when the owners are away. Johnny warns Dominic to stay straight until they remove the $3 million. Meantime, James' daughter Dyana (newcomer Andrea Sherrill) stumbles onto one of Johnny's stashes. Dyana's sister Natalie (Noa Maes of "Into America's Wild") compliments her sister on her new clothes. Dyana shows Natalie the stacks of $100 bills under a loose floorboard in her bedroom. She offers to share, but Natalie declines. Instead, she urges Dyana to tell their parents. Predictably, Dyana doesn't. Later, while they eat supper, Dyana surprises her parents with a gift of resort motel reservations. James calls it a second honeymoon. At the same time, Dyana has been planning a secret soiree with their friends after their folks leave. Neither the Baker sisters nor their parents realize they are being surveilled by Johnny's two brothers and Dominic.
The villains wait impatiently for the party goers to leave so they can retrieve their money. Breaking his promise to Johnny, Dominic chokes down some white pills and calls them "the calm before the storm." Seizing his silenced pistol, the Scotsman breaks up the party and starts gunning down the guests. Desperately, Natalie uses her cell phone to contact her dad. Frantically, James and Luis careen back before the villains are finished. Apparently, James and Lisa hadn't gone too far when Natalie called. Nevertheless, trigger-happy Dominic has shot several unarmed guests. James' friend Sebastian (Brendan Fehr of "Final Destination") suffers the deadly fate of being the hero's best friend. Naturally, Johnny goes berserk when he hears about the massacre. He storms the premises with a biker gang. Inevitably, James and Johnny tangle. Just as James gains an advantage over Johnny, despicable Sheriff Alexander interrupts them with his drawn gun.
Director Asif Akbar and scenarist Koji Steven Sakai expect audiences to believe the New Mexico State Parole Board would free a murderer who refused to divulge the whereabouts of his plunder in return for clemency. When they found the hidden packets of loot in the floor, the Baker sisters prised the floorboards out of place with their fingertips! Oddly enough, you would think Dyana's new wardrobe would have aroused Luis' suspicions. Moreover, in the first place, the addlepated authorities should have ransacked Johnny's domicile. Dyana's bogus story about a friend giving up their motel reservations should have made her parents think twice. Sadly, nothing about Kieran Gallagher's fight choreography is special. The only excuse for suffering through a second-rate saga like "The Commando" is if you're stuck in quarantine with nothing else to watch.