HouseSitter (1992)
5/10
This is Goldie's film, as a fruitcake matrimonial con artist
3 March 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Steve Martin, as middle-aged architect Newton Davis, has his life turned upside down as the consequence of a one night stand with flighty shady waitress Gwen(Goldie Hawn). Previously, Newton had been floored by the rejection of his marriage proposal to his long time sweetheart Becky(Dana Delany), after he had built a house for them to live in. Instead, Gwen travels by bus to the town where this house is, and searches for it, based on a paper napkin drawing by Newton. She enters the apparently unlocked house and decides she will stay here a while. Nearly broke, she goes about stocking it with food and basic furnishings, telling people that she is Newton's new wife, and that he will pay for these items when he arrives. Meanwhile, Newton decides to sell the house, needing some cash. When he arrives to check the house, he is shocked to find Gwen living in it, and people congratulating him for his marriage to Gwen.

So far, there are a number of problems with the screenplay. Why did Newton wait until he was 46 to propose to his sweetheart from grade school? Apparently, neither he nor she had been previously married, although we aren't given any info about their relationship, or lack thereof. Actually, Dana(Becky) is a decade younger than Steve, and the age disparity looks even greater, with Steve's premature gray/white hair. On the other hand, Goldie was Steve's age, but appears to have been cast as much younger. The town people's ready acceptance of Gwen's fictitious marriage to Steve is difficult to swallow. Gwen pulls it off with her gift for adlibbed convincing lies to back up her claim, and with her natural charm. Gwen's claim that she was thrown out of her apartment as the reason for her moving into this house, she later admits is false. I didn't understand her given reason for choosing to move to this house that she later gives to Newton. Newton's reluctant acceptance of their sham marriage is also difficult for me to swallow. Soon, he is telling lies and backing up her lies to support the contention that they are married. Their relationship continues to be rocky throughout the film. Often, they are arguing. Newton still prefers Becky as his favored wife, periodically being with her, one time trying to have sex with her, until Becky objected that he was married. Becky is beginning to wish that she had accepted his marriage proposal.

Near the end, during the reception, Gwen complains that Newton clearly loves Becky rather than her fruitcake self, and vice versa. She hitches a ride into town and is ready to leave on the bus she arrived on. But Newton races to catch up with her, arriving just as she is about to board the bus, blurting out "I love you. I want to marry you". She initially discounts this, saying that they are not compatible. But, Newton tells a long story of lies about their previous relationship, and her attitude softens, as she realizes that what they have in common is talent in telling convincing lies: hardly a commonality to build a lasting marriage upon! Thus, she jumps from the bus into Newton's arms, as a presumed sign of acceptance of his proposal. This whole scene strikes me as unreal. In fact, the whole film seems unreal. If that is what you like in a movie, you may enjoy this film.

One of the more amusing aspects is Gwen's casting of a homeless middle-aged couple she was familiar with as her parents, for the reception. Newton catches the woman rummaging through his trash outside, and is not amused. However, Gwen makes Newton fulfill his promise to build the couple, as Gwen's supposed parents, a house on the lot with his house, as the credits are about to roll.
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