Somewhere in Alaska, in the tradition of 'Death Hunt,' North Korean president Kim Jong-un is riding horseback and steals gold nuggets off a dead Russian army. They raise from the grave and he's captured and humiliated with a mop wig and turned into a New Zealand hula girl and made to dance for the dead army.
China's answer to Eastwood arrives and captures Lady Boy-un. They frolic and roll around in the snow until it builds momentum and morphs into a big CGI snowball.
Mr. Miyagi, code name Spider-Man, leaps from a tall tree and takes down Eastwood. (It sounded like Miyagi.)
If you look hard at the start Cynthia Rothrock appears on a horse. Now, I personally questioned her in a mall about this movie not being available in the video stores back in '93 and she informed me to find it at your local Chinatown area. (I bought it online in 2019.) We had our picture taken that night and years later I'd tell anyone online who'd listen that she was my dead wife. That's my claim to Hollywood.
Time out! Time! Sorry to make a teaching lesson out of this, but whoever translated the English subtitles needs making an example out of. And they must never work in the translation business ever again. Here are a few examples.
Don't you want me to owe you all my life?
Don't you have the gut to do that, do you?
Excepting my mom I have slept with all women I know.
Can you keep my dream alive, can't you?
Don't worry, I don't prefer old women.
Go home for some sleep.
IF THIS MOVIE'S INTENTION WAS TO OFFEND ME, THEN IT'S SUCCEDED IN ONLY 14-MINUTES!
That whole scene needs a reshuffle and filmed again.
It's some kind of slapstick comedy and not a serious kung fu movie.
Hang on! Did that really just happen at the 15:20-minute mark? A 400-pound fire dragon woman is ablaze and forced to leap from a fourth story floor and into the awaiting arms of the trampoline bug catchers down below and they let her fall to the ground face first? Hmm.
So, this is China's answer to humor, eh?
This guy's 10ft tall.
"Don't play with the chicken otherwise it'll expose your identity." What does that mean?
Karl Malden is on a train with his son and punches his cabin mates when they go through a dark tunnel.
'Pink Panther-type' sleuth music. Benny Hill stupidity. Subtitles that go way too fast and are riddled with blatant errors, which I find highly offensive.
Captain, I have been followed him closely.
THESE SUBTITLES DARE OFFEND ME WITH POOR GRAMMAR! TO SUBJECT ME TO SOMEBODY ELSE'S POOR SCHOOLING IS TO BRING ME TO THEIR LEVELS!
A man on a PeeWee 50 that sounds like a Ferrari when revved?
THIS MOVIE WANTS TO VIOLATE MY INTELLIGENCE IN MY OWN ROOM?
I don't believe I can't manage it.
THIS IS INTENTIONAL.
There's a good fight scene at a train station and this guy moves fast for a big guy... and manages to maintain wearing his glasses the entire time.
Movie's about a silly train heist - 'Solo' - and filled with different segment skits that don't seem to run concurrently with the main theme.
I swear I can hear snippets of Mr. Miyagi's voice at times.
Wow - this run home to momma prison scene is award winning. My God.
Whoops, here we go again!
Don't be so hidden bitterness.
What is the reason of being so hesitated?
WHOEVER TRANSLATED THESE SUBTITLES WAS PAID FOR DOING SO! THEY ACCEPTED CASH IN RETURN FOR INCOMPETENCE!
The end fight scenes by all involved are awesome. This ninja lady in the blue is ultra-impressive with her moves.
Why wasn't the rest of the movie this good?
They ambled along for three-quarters of the movie trying to be funny, with lame comedy skits, then it kicks into gear when it's all over and only gets serious with proper fighting drama at the end before the credits roll? The ending of this doesn't belong to the rest of the movie. That was some serious fighting that belonged in another movie. Very, very, impressive how a lot of these fighters moved at the end. The ending deserved better than the rest of it.
China's answer to Eastwood arrives and captures Lady Boy-un. They frolic and roll around in the snow until it builds momentum and morphs into a big CGI snowball.
Mr. Miyagi, code name Spider-Man, leaps from a tall tree and takes down Eastwood. (It sounded like Miyagi.)
If you look hard at the start Cynthia Rothrock appears on a horse. Now, I personally questioned her in a mall about this movie not being available in the video stores back in '93 and she informed me to find it at your local Chinatown area. (I bought it online in 2019.) We had our picture taken that night and years later I'd tell anyone online who'd listen that she was my dead wife. That's my claim to Hollywood.
Time out! Time! Sorry to make a teaching lesson out of this, but whoever translated the English subtitles needs making an example out of. And they must never work in the translation business ever again. Here are a few examples.
Don't you want me to owe you all my life?
Don't you have the gut to do that, do you?
Excepting my mom I have slept with all women I know.
Can you keep my dream alive, can't you?
Don't worry, I don't prefer old women.
Go home for some sleep.
IF THIS MOVIE'S INTENTION WAS TO OFFEND ME, THEN IT'S SUCCEDED IN ONLY 14-MINUTES!
That whole scene needs a reshuffle and filmed again.
It's some kind of slapstick comedy and not a serious kung fu movie.
Hang on! Did that really just happen at the 15:20-minute mark? A 400-pound fire dragon woman is ablaze and forced to leap from a fourth story floor and into the awaiting arms of the trampoline bug catchers down below and they let her fall to the ground face first? Hmm.
So, this is China's answer to humor, eh?
This guy's 10ft tall.
"Don't play with the chicken otherwise it'll expose your identity." What does that mean?
Karl Malden is on a train with his son and punches his cabin mates when they go through a dark tunnel.
'Pink Panther-type' sleuth music. Benny Hill stupidity. Subtitles that go way too fast and are riddled with blatant errors, which I find highly offensive.
Captain, I have been followed him closely.
THESE SUBTITLES DARE OFFEND ME WITH POOR GRAMMAR! TO SUBJECT ME TO SOMEBODY ELSE'S POOR SCHOOLING IS TO BRING ME TO THEIR LEVELS!
A man on a PeeWee 50 that sounds like a Ferrari when revved?
THIS MOVIE WANTS TO VIOLATE MY INTELLIGENCE IN MY OWN ROOM?
I don't believe I can't manage it.
THIS IS INTENTIONAL.
There's a good fight scene at a train station and this guy moves fast for a big guy... and manages to maintain wearing his glasses the entire time.
Movie's about a silly train heist - 'Solo' - and filled with different segment skits that don't seem to run concurrently with the main theme.
I swear I can hear snippets of Mr. Miyagi's voice at times.
Wow - this run home to momma prison scene is award winning. My God.
Whoops, here we go again!
Don't be so hidden bitterness.
What is the reason of being so hesitated?
WHOEVER TRANSLATED THESE SUBTITLES WAS PAID FOR DOING SO! THEY ACCEPTED CASH IN RETURN FOR INCOMPETENCE!
The end fight scenes by all involved are awesome. This ninja lady in the blue is ultra-impressive with her moves.
Why wasn't the rest of the movie this good?
They ambled along for three-quarters of the movie trying to be funny, with lame comedy skits, then it kicks into gear when it's all over and only gets serious with proper fighting drama at the end before the credits roll? The ending of this doesn't belong to the rest of the movie. That was some serious fighting that belonged in another movie. Very, very, impressive how a lot of these fighters moved at the end. The ending deserved better than the rest of it.