The Callisto Protocol (2022 Video Game)
2/10
If you wanted a reimagining of Dead Space, this is not it.
3 December 2022
Warning: Spoilers
If you wanted a reimagining of Dead Space, this is not it. This a thinly veiled action game with poor mechanics that games ten years ago had resolved.

What really upset me is this was advertised to me as a survival horror and it's not. Within hours, you're taking down hordes of enemies with a generic attack dance; dodge, attack, dodge, attack fight sequence and it just repeats every room. If there are multiple enemies, they wait for you to finish each individual fight because they are polite monsters. You are also made to finish these fights, you can't retreat and gather your thoughts and re-engage. You are locked into a fight once it starts regardless of enemy numbers.

The death animations, which the game advertised so much, are fun the first few times. Then you start to notice how much they are repeated and don't make sense. Multiple enemy types can give you the same death animation. That big boy stomped your head? Makes sense. That little one can too? The same way? Oh. You got hit in the shoulder by a monsters arm, but your head got sliced clean in two? Ok.. Your jaw is getting ripped off, but for some reason you are now clean shaven, your beard disappears. Youtube that one, it's funny. But I guess we don't have to worry, they have announced they are releasing more death animations, you just have to buy it in the form of DLC in the future.

Don't forget that when you do get a weapon upgrade area and you spend time to upgrade your gear and then die before reaching the next checkpoint, you don't retain your upgrades. You need to do that again. Every time.

The story just seems to be a bunch of plot points from other games/movies smashed into one big mess. You have literal Kimiko from The Boyz, you have fungi zombies from The Last of Us and then you have discount Mr X from Resident Evil 2.

The jump scares are very predictable. Put an item in front of a foggy glass window you need to pickup and as expected, there's an enemy. You can make a game out of it. That is at least a little fun.

I really wanted to like this game. Survival horror is my bag. But this game just made me want to play Dead Space 1. I hope the remaster coming out in 2023 is good.
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