Miami Magma (2011 TV Movie)
3/10
One of countless many, and par for the course
18 March 2023
Sometimes you just want to watch a terrible TV movie sci-fi romp, you know? The average SyFy feature is roughly on par with anything The Asylum produces, whether they're specifically involved or not, and so the quality generally ranges from "half decent" to "abhorrent." This isn't to pointedly denigrate the work of anyone involved; recognizable, respected names and faces often become involved with such fare for an easy paycheck, and the effort they turn in will match the broad tenor of the project. The details hardly even matter, for we know exactly what to expect, and with rare exceptions it's exactly what we'll get: weak acting, ham-fisted scene writing and direction, questionable dialogue, trifling characterizations, antagonistic figures more or less responsible for or complicit in the course of events, a loose foundation in real scientific concepts that then blithely goes off the rails, special effects that raise a skeptical eyebrow, music that can be easily copied and pasted into any similar title, and action, violence, or otherwise tense sequences that are less than wholly convincing or meaningful. To this add admirable themes of extreme capitalist malfeasance and corporate corruption, and mismanagement and destruction of the environment, that are surely not treated well by their connection to such a picture. I could just as easily be talking about one of dozens or even hundreds of other films aside from 'Miami magma,' but here we are.

I don't think this is abjectly terrible. In the very least, I've sadly seen far worse. But at best this is largely indistinguishable from countless other low-grade sci-fi romps. Moreover, so very much of this is outrageously forced and contrived, in many ways, dampening the basic entertainment value and the worth of its best ideas (e.g. Secondary dangers of gas, chemicals, and steam, and the idea that's barely touched upon of awful people enlisting in the military). That's to say nothing of how the screenplay feels fundamentally imbalanced between the central conceit of volcanic activity, and the additional facet of individuals with culpability in the course of events; despite the name of the picture, it doesn't seem to come into play as much as one would assume. The end result is still marginally enjoyable, a baseline satisfactory diversion for those who are receptive to the most ridiculous of B-movies. Yet even the greatest generosity one could muster can't paint over the substantial deficiencies and inelegance that are built into the feature like debris laid into the foundation of a building; there's a select audience who can in any way appreciate this, and even then it will be a matter of hate-watching more than anything else.

I'm glad that this at least put dinner on the table for the folks who participated in its creation. If you're looking for a movie of this nature, you could do worse. Maybe it's for the best if earnest assessment of 'Miami magma' begins and ends there.
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