Alright, let's hear it for the internet: it lets you borrow movies for free.
All you've got to do is have the know-how, and the suckers can be extracted onto a USB thumb drive. Nothing in life is free, I've been told, but apparently horrible movies are!
Back in the 80s, this movie would have cost me a buck to rent for a week.
Neil Vargas from "Kickboxer 2" is the Digital Man.
What looks like Wolf Mother is a commanding officer in this Nintendo 64-looking movie among two seasoned old timers.
Those other two look like they belong in a sitcom show or midday movie.
Wolf mother orders Phil Collins to purge somewhere in San Diego.
Oh, man, this movie's dangled a hook with no bait on it.
I'm 12 minutes into a 95 minute movie, and already my mind is elsewhere.
It's going to be a long night.
What looks like Don the Dragon Wilson's "Cyber Trackers" steal vital information from a floppy disc.
The Ice Cream Man plays an unstable janitor with a handgun who alters the movie's course with his actions. He's blasted away early by a Universal Soldier, then a bunch of Starship Troopers run around Bosnia with heavy-duty electrical gardening trimmers, acting out a skirmish drill.
Meanwhile, biodegradable ninjas appear out of nowhere and are dissolved by the Starship Troopers.
If I'm not mistaken, that's a Swayze right there, correct?
The Starship Troopers track Putin to Earth and need a Foxtel satellite dish to upload the floppy disc information.
This guy dressed like a waffle maker machine looks like President Putin.
And there are two other people who resemble Phil Collins.
I know I'm uneducated, but anyone who rates this above one was better schooled than me and understood this crap. I don't know what moron sits there and finds this entertaining.
I'll give "Digital Man" one point for the heat-seeking missile obliteration of Don Swayze.
How anyone could watch this movie more than once will be one of those History's Greatest Mystery episodes.
For some reason, I picked up "Tremors" vibes at times while watching "Digital Man." There isn't much to say other than it looked like they were running through the corridors of Hoover Dam in the tradition of "Universal Soldier" but with no direction.
After this crap was finished, I sat there and felt sorry for myself. Literally sat there in a pit of self-loathing.
I didn't go as far as weeping, but I lamented the fact that I'm miserable and punishing myself with this so-called entertainment.
In a way, it's abusive behavior. Self-harm, you might say. I'm damaging myself by watching 90s action movies in 360p format, which do untold amounts of irreversible damage to one's psyche.
I'm stupid and in need of professional help.
All you've got to do is have the know-how, and the suckers can be extracted onto a USB thumb drive. Nothing in life is free, I've been told, but apparently horrible movies are!
Back in the 80s, this movie would have cost me a buck to rent for a week.
Neil Vargas from "Kickboxer 2" is the Digital Man.
What looks like Wolf Mother is a commanding officer in this Nintendo 64-looking movie among two seasoned old timers.
Those other two look like they belong in a sitcom show or midday movie.
Wolf mother orders Phil Collins to purge somewhere in San Diego.
Oh, man, this movie's dangled a hook with no bait on it.
I'm 12 minutes into a 95 minute movie, and already my mind is elsewhere.
It's going to be a long night.
What looks like Don the Dragon Wilson's "Cyber Trackers" steal vital information from a floppy disc.
The Ice Cream Man plays an unstable janitor with a handgun who alters the movie's course with his actions. He's blasted away early by a Universal Soldier, then a bunch of Starship Troopers run around Bosnia with heavy-duty electrical gardening trimmers, acting out a skirmish drill.
Meanwhile, biodegradable ninjas appear out of nowhere and are dissolved by the Starship Troopers.
If I'm not mistaken, that's a Swayze right there, correct?
The Starship Troopers track Putin to Earth and need a Foxtel satellite dish to upload the floppy disc information.
This guy dressed like a waffle maker machine looks like President Putin.
And there are two other people who resemble Phil Collins.
I know I'm uneducated, but anyone who rates this above one was better schooled than me and understood this crap. I don't know what moron sits there and finds this entertaining.
I'll give "Digital Man" one point for the heat-seeking missile obliteration of Don Swayze.
How anyone could watch this movie more than once will be one of those History's Greatest Mystery episodes.
For some reason, I picked up "Tremors" vibes at times while watching "Digital Man." There isn't much to say other than it looked like they were running through the corridors of Hoover Dam in the tradition of "Universal Soldier" but with no direction.
After this crap was finished, I sat there and felt sorry for myself. Literally sat there in a pit of self-loathing.
I didn't go as far as weeping, but I lamented the fact that I'm miserable and punishing myself with this so-called entertainment.
In a way, it's abusive behavior. Self-harm, you might say. I'm damaging myself by watching 90s action movies in 360p format, which do untold amounts of irreversible damage to one's psyche.
I'm stupid and in need of professional help.