The beginning is pretty much the only part where you'll find anyone walking, on their two legs, at least for the next 70-80 minutes. (They're mostly sitting, but that's beside the point.) That's a warning.
After that, the film goes to a crawl, literally and figuratively, as the next 70 minutes is basically Weiss crawling through narrow corridors, trying to evade deadly traps. I can't say I was particularly impressed: this is neither an original idea nor does it create much suspense because the pace slows down ridiculously.
Yet, despite all these sadistic traps and obvious intent to torture, in her first encounter with an alien she utters these fascinating words:
"I know you don't want me to die."
Really? After she'd come across two corpses and after she'd witnesses the murder of the serial-killer, she still believes the aliens like her?
So she's either insane or stupid - or both.
Which makes sense. She was in the middle of nowhere in a foreign country, so clearly she could be both. Plus, she'd just undergone stress and abuse the kind that can kill people. Yet, she somehow has the energy to plow on, to crawl on and on like an energizer caterpillar, with as much stamina as 48 Olympic swimmers. Try crawling for "just" 2-3 minutes: if you can - especially at a fast pace. Anyone who did military service knows how extremely tiring it is. We have big apes as our ancestors, not slugs. Unless Weiss is related to a mole or a worm, I really don't know how she could have done all this crawling without passing out at least 30 times, plus all the stress, panic, anxiety, fear and with just a bit of water and from what I can tell no food at all.
Yes, this is sci-fi, but SHE isn't the alien here. She is a human hence I need her to behave like a human, not like a Crawl Champion emperor-worm. It's way too far-fetched.
Then, when she meets more aliens, she actually SMILES at these ugly deviants who are putting her through this torture, as if she does this sort of thing every day, and as if she'd met aliens before. This was by far the stupidest scene. No human, unless they were some kind of uniquely masochistic and schizophrenic specimen, would behave the way she does. She is friendly, cheerful and trusting with the aliens - none of which makes any sense at all. Any normal person would either want to punch them in the face or flee. Or both.
And how the hell does she constantly keep outrunning (outcrawling) the monster? His only job is to hunt down humans, that's literally his job description, yet somehow grrl power always wins over him.
Who couldn't predict that she'd end up back where she started? Raise yer hands all ye fools who had seen "Cube" yet couldn't figure out that obvious "plot twist". After she finds herself there, somehow she figures out what the symbols denote! That'd be like a person running a marathon while juggling 5 balls being able to do complicated calculus at the same time. There's no way in hell anyone in this kind of extreme, completely bizarre situation would be able to think halfway clearly, let alone analyze these symbols which are as vague as can be. Besides, what the hell do directions such as "left right right left left" mean in a complex 3D maze where even gravity changes!
Nor can she be that smart. After all, check out her dumb daughter, how she died. At the age of 9 any halfway intelligent, normal child should know not to walk out of open windows. I mean, duh. So silly. Weiss blames herself for this incident, yet she isn't at fault. One should be able to leave a 9 year-old alone without having to worry that the dummie will fall out of a window! It's so stupid... That was natural selection at work right there!
Still, after Weiss goes to Heaven (or a remote planet) she gets a new-and-improved daughter, who appears to have made a huge evolution from a window-falling brat all the way to a planetary guide working for the sadistic aliens. It isn't even clear whether this replace-daughter will keep her company or not. Where is Weiss supposed to live? There were no accommodations, perhaps at best a cave, in that barren landscape. That's her reward??? Being stuck on a distant planet, all alone, with just one weird dress? Don't these aliens know that a French woman has a fashion sense? She's not gonna be too happy wearing the same thing every day. Where will she shop? Whom will she share gossip with? (And which gossip? There's nobody else there.) She will likely stay there alone forever, because for sure no other humans will manage to pass that ultra-difficult crawly marathon thingy in the tunnels. This is supposed to be her "Heaven" after she died "many times over" (as she's informed). That is a depressing ending, not a positive one - as this film may (or may not) suggest. All that struggle - just to get more punishment?
So lemme get this right... Aliens abduct random humans and put them through extreme physical, emotional and mental torture - and only the survivors get to "enjoy" the scenery of some barren crap planet? This is not a premise nor a concept, this is goofy nonsense. These aliens must be weird at best, extremely malicious at worst.
Still, the French have a good aesthetic sense and the interiors are nice, the movie is slickly done, it's professional not amateur - although the acting can be iffy at times. Especially the girl-alien comes off flat. I just wish there were more of a plot, less crawling, and a tiny little bit more logic to it all.
After that, the film goes to a crawl, literally and figuratively, as the next 70 minutes is basically Weiss crawling through narrow corridors, trying to evade deadly traps. I can't say I was particularly impressed: this is neither an original idea nor does it create much suspense because the pace slows down ridiculously.
Yet, despite all these sadistic traps and obvious intent to torture, in her first encounter with an alien she utters these fascinating words:
"I know you don't want me to die."
Really? After she'd come across two corpses and after she'd witnesses the murder of the serial-killer, she still believes the aliens like her?
So she's either insane or stupid - or both.
Which makes sense. She was in the middle of nowhere in a foreign country, so clearly she could be both. Plus, she'd just undergone stress and abuse the kind that can kill people. Yet, she somehow has the energy to plow on, to crawl on and on like an energizer caterpillar, with as much stamina as 48 Olympic swimmers. Try crawling for "just" 2-3 minutes: if you can - especially at a fast pace. Anyone who did military service knows how extremely tiring it is. We have big apes as our ancestors, not slugs. Unless Weiss is related to a mole or a worm, I really don't know how she could have done all this crawling without passing out at least 30 times, plus all the stress, panic, anxiety, fear and with just a bit of water and from what I can tell no food at all.
Yes, this is sci-fi, but SHE isn't the alien here. She is a human hence I need her to behave like a human, not like a Crawl Champion emperor-worm. It's way too far-fetched.
Then, when she meets more aliens, she actually SMILES at these ugly deviants who are putting her through this torture, as if she does this sort of thing every day, and as if she'd met aliens before. This was by far the stupidest scene. No human, unless they were some kind of uniquely masochistic and schizophrenic specimen, would behave the way she does. She is friendly, cheerful and trusting with the aliens - none of which makes any sense at all. Any normal person would either want to punch them in the face or flee. Or both.
And how the hell does she constantly keep outrunning (outcrawling) the monster? His only job is to hunt down humans, that's literally his job description, yet somehow grrl power always wins over him.
Who couldn't predict that she'd end up back where she started? Raise yer hands all ye fools who had seen "Cube" yet couldn't figure out that obvious "plot twist". After she finds herself there, somehow she figures out what the symbols denote! That'd be like a person running a marathon while juggling 5 balls being able to do complicated calculus at the same time. There's no way in hell anyone in this kind of extreme, completely bizarre situation would be able to think halfway clearly, let alone analyze these symbols which are as vague as can be. Besides, what the hell do directions such as "left right right left left" mean in a complex 3D maze where even gravity changes!
Nor can she be that smart. After all, check out her dumb daughter, how she died. At the age of 9 any halfway intelligent, normal child should know not to walk out of open windows. I mean, duh. So silly. Weiss blames herself for this incident, yet she isn't at fault. One should be able to leave a 9 year-old alone without having to worry that the dummie will fall out of a window! It's so stupid... That was natural selection at work right there!
Still, after Weiss goes to Heaven (or a remote planet) she gets a new-and-improved daughter, who appears to have made a huge evolution from a window-falling brat all the way to a planetary guide working for the sadistic aliens. It isn't even clear whether this replace-daughter will keep her company or not. Where is Weiss supposed to live? There were no accommodations, perhaps at best a cave, in that barren landscape. That's her reward??? Being stuck on a distant planet, all alone, with just one weird dress? Don't these aliens know that a French woman has a fashion sense? She's not gonna be too happy wearing the same thing every day. Where will she shop? Whom will she share gossip with? (And which gossip? There's nobody else there.) She will likely stay there alone forever, because for sure no other humans will manage to pass that ultra-difficult crawly marathon thingy in the tunnels. This is supposed to be her "Heaven" after she died "many times over" (as she's informed). That is a depressing ending, not a positive one - as this film may (or may not) suggest. All that struggle - just to get more punishment?
So lemme get this right... Aliens abduct random humans and put them through extreme physical, emotional and mental torture - and only the survivors get to "enjoy" the scenery of some barren crap planet? This is not a premise nor a concept, this is goofy nonsense. These aliens must be weird at best, extremely malicious at worst.
Still, the French have a good aesthetic sense and the interiors are nice, the movie is slickly done, it's professional not amateur - although the acting can be iffy at times. Especially the girl-alien comes off flat. I just wish there were more of a plot, less crawling, and a tiny little bit more logic to it all.