Nessie & Me (2016)
2/10
So, so bad.
4 September 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Two college freshman make a movie over spring break with a budget of $150. This is that movie. It's so awful the entire time but the 30 of the movie has some great unintentional laughs. We watched it from the library so it was free. Please do not waste time, money, or data on this movie.

If you already did, laugh with me as I highlight some of the most ridiculous parts.

The kid ends up getting an "iPhone 8 with all the apps" which his father tells him he got because his mom gave up some of her "mad money." Yet he can't touch his father's camera until the father is ready to die.... And wasn't the beginning of the movie trying to point out that kids on their phones are missing everything around them?

Also, why does the kid's brother look like Charlie from Willy Wonka?

And then the rich guy has an old flip phone but the kid has an iPhone 8! Haha!!

The money that he is using to pay bills is clearly one sided. The bottom of the money is bright white and they don't even try to hide it.

I loved when the guys were making a commercial and gave the payphone number as the one to call. They both had cell phones but if you want to book a boat tour, call the random payphone. Maybe it had to do with the bad signal on that side of the lake???

Quote from rich guy, " I'm like sandwhich meat. Always ready."

The loan shark looks like a leprechaun in a business suit.

There are so many inappropriate moments with the women in this movie. Why so much cleavage and why are we all watching the woman walk away. It kind of looked like the doofy guy on the boat was pitching a tent as he sat there after watching her walk away... if you know what I mean.

Overall, the kids were much better actors than the adults.

I wanted to stop it several times but my kids wanted to finish it. It wasn't as bad and inappropriate as The Queens Corgis but it takes a solid second place. It seems like any time you see a kids movie that is not rated, you're taking a gamble, and will most likely end up on the losing side of a bad movie.
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