Wow was this disappointing. You go into a movie like Cocaine Bear and I'm kinda hoping for a bizonkers non-stop ride of absurd violence. Even comedy violence. I'm thinking that this thing is going to be insane. It's a bear, high on cocaine, killing people. How is that not going to be crazy? Well... You have Elizabeth Banks behind the camera and apparently that'll do it. (Side note, I went through her IMDB to find something redeemable so I could maybe say she's just not a great director but hey, "she was great in..." but the only thing I see that was really worthwhile was the Lego Movie and lets be honest, nobody remembers that movie because of her voice work.)
At every possible turn, this movie goes the wrong direction. It veers away from the insane to go with the most beige, sterile tedium one could imagine. Then, in the few moments it does try to be a little weird, it doesn't even... It's so bad that it's hard to not just chalk it up to bad film making. At one point, the bear spits out a bullet. Love that! Make that bear indestructible and bulletproof! Absolutely! Except... In this scene, I end up asking how that bullet even got in the bear's mouth in the first place.
The movie has an R rating, but this is about the softest, most flaccid R I've ever seen. It would take so very little to just make this a PG-13 that I really wonder why they didn't just do that. They constantly cut away from the "good stuff" and instead, limbs just fly out of nowhere. HOW IS THE BEAR DISMEMBERING PEOPLE AND THEN THROWING THEIR SEVERED LIMBS OUT!? It doesn't even make sense!
I really wanted this to be a fun movie. To be a party movie, where you get together with some friends, throw on Cocaine Bear and all have a gut busting good time of laughs and "OH F--!" moments. Instead, I'm just left questioning my own susceptibility to ad campaigns along with the approval process of the production companies. Sharknado was more interesting than this. Also, seriously... It feels like the movie is acknowledging its own stupidity when it throws up a stat or quote or whatever it was and then cites Wikipedia for it. What are we doing here, guys? Wikipedia? Seriously?
Ugh.
At every possible turn, this movie goes the wrong direction. It veers away from the insane to go with the most beige, sterile tedium one could imagine. Then, in the few moments it does try to be a little weird, it doesn't even... It's so bad that it's hard to not just chalk it up to bad film making. At one point, the bear spits out a bullet. Love that! Make that bear indestructible and bulletproof! Absolutely! Except... In this scene, I end up asking how that bullet even got in the bear's mouth in the first place.
The movie has an R rating, but this is about the softest, most flaccid R I've ever seen. It would take so very little to just make this a PG-13 that I really wonder why they didn't just do that. They constantly cut away from the "good stuff" and instead, limbs just fly out of nowhere. HOW IS THE BEAR DISMEMBERING PEOPLE AND THEN THROWING THEIR SEVERED LIMBS OUT!? It doesn't even make sense!
I really wanted this to be a fun movie. To be a party movie, where you get together with some friends, throw on Cocaine Bear and all have a gut busting good time of laughs and "OH F--!" moments. Instead, I'm just left questioning my own susceptibility to ad campaigns along with the approval process of the production companies. Sharknado was more interesting than this. Also, seriously... It feels like the movie is acknowledging its own stupidity when it throws up a stat or quote or whatever it was and then cites Wikipedia for it. What are we doing here, guys? Wikipedia? Seriously?
Ugh.