Review of Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker

Mickey Rooney plays a toy maker named Joe Petto (get it?) who lives with a young man named Pino (get it?). It seems Joe likes to give children anonymous gifts which, when opened, maims and kills them. It is always nice to see a film series come full circle, showing even more hatred for children- a little boy walks in on his parents having sex, retrieves a mysterious package, gets yelled and cursed at by his father, then watches as his father opens the mysterious package and is murdered. We must sit through ninety minutes of lame plot, resulting in a silly resolution that involves killer toys and giant Ken dolls. The "suspenseful" moments are not supposed to be this funny, including rocket roller blades on a kid who gets struck by a car, and a horny babysitter and boyfriend attacked by toy soldiers. Some of the cast from "Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation" appear, but not as their old characters- that might have been interesting. "Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker" is hopefully the finale to one lame horror franchise.