Story: 0.50 - Direction & Pace 1.25 & 1.50/4 - Performance: 1.25/2 - Entertainment: 1.00/2
Total - 5.50/10
Under the Bed, a 2012 horror flick that promises to keep you on the edge of your seat, or at least hovering somewhere near it, delivers a rollercoaster of scares and head-scratching moments. Let's start with the elephant in the room - the story. Straight away, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but the narrative here is as solid as a house of cards in a wind tunnel. It's not just a plot hole; it's more like a plot crater with floating objects that seem to have detoured from Hogwarts. Was the writer a fan of levitating furniture, or did they positively endure a wizard of a time coming up with something remotely interesting?
And, speaking of extraordinary noise. Apparently, the entire house is throwing a clandestine rave, with walls shaking and windows rattling. It's like the rest of the family got invited to a silent disco because nobody hears a thing. Maybe they're all hard of hearing or just exceedingly polite. Who knows?
But let's not dwell on the negatives. The real hero of this horror tale is the director, who managed to turn a questionable script into a visual feast. The camera work deserves a standing ovation, with angles so captivating they could make a documentary about paint drying riveting. The lighting is on point, the panning is a symphony of motion, and close-ups are so intimate you might want to check your personal space afterwards.
When the effects burst onto the scene, they do so with the subtlety of a sledgehammer - gore-drenched and head-tearing, leaving little to the active imagination. Kudos for opting for wet work over CGI; it's like choosing a quality wine over a fruit punch - way nastier and much more satisfying.
The pacing, orchestrated by the directorial maestro, deserves a gold medal. It's a delightful blend of sprinting and strolling, hitting the right beats at the right moments. The performances rise above the murky waters of mediocrity despite the wonky characters. The shouty, quarrelsome father might be a cliché, but the actor behind the character delivers his lines with enough ardour to cause you to forget seeing this act many times before.
In conclusion, if you're in the mood for a horror flick and fortunately possess the unique ability to suspend disbelief like it's on a bungee cord, Under the Bed might be your cup of spooky tea. Sure, the storyline is as holey as Swiss cheese, but the director's considerable prowess and the gory effects generously offer a distraction juicy enough for a wet winter evening. But I'd rather wrestle with a poltergeist armed with a feather duster before revisiting this flick.
Total - 5.50/10
Under the Bed, a 2012 horror flick that promises to keep you on the edge of your seat, or at least hovering somewhere near it, delivers a rollercoaster of scares and head-scratching moments. Let's start with the elephant in the room - the story. Straight away, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but the narrative here is as solid as a house of cards in a wind tunnel. It's not just a plot hole; it's more like a plot crater with floating objects that seem to have detoured from Hogwarts. Was the writer a fan of levitating furniture, or did they positively endure a wizard of a time coming up with something remotely interesting?
And, speaking of extraordinary noise. Apparently, the entire house is throwing a clandestine rave, with walls shaking and windows rattling. It's like the rest of the family got invited to a silent disco because nobody hears a thing. Maybe they're all hard of hearing or just exceedingly polite. Who knows?
But let's not dwell on the negatives. The real hero of this horror tale is the director, who managed to turn a questionable script into a visual feast. The camera work deserves a standing ovation, with angles so captivating they could make a documentary about paint drying riveting. The lighting is on point, the panning is a symphony of motion, and close-ups are so intimate you might want to check your personal space afterwards.
When the effects burst onto the scene, they do so with the subtlety of a sledgehammer - gore-drenched and head-tearing, leaving little to the active imagination. Kudos for opting for wet work over CGI; it's like choosing a quality wine over a fruit punch - way nastier and much more satisfying.
The pacing, orchestrated by the directorial maestro, deserves a gold medal. It's a delightful blend of sprinting and strolling, hitting the right beats at the right moments. The performances rise above the murky waters of mediocrity despite the wonky characters. The shouty, quarrelsome father might be a cliché, but the actor behind the character delivers his lines with enough ardour to cause you to forget seeing this act many times before.
In conclusion, if you're in the mood for a horror flick and fortunately possess the unique ability to suspend disbelief like it's on a bungee cord, Under the Bed might be your cup of spooky tea. Sure, the storyline is as holey as Swiss cheese, but the director's considerable prowess and the gory effects generously offer a distraction juicy enough for a wet winter evening. But I'd rather wrestle with a poltergeist armed with a feather duster before revisiting this flick.