Mondo Topless (1966)
4/10
Mondo Topless
31 March 2024
Warning: Spoilers
"Two Much For One Man...Russ Meyer's Busty Buxotic Beauties ... Titilating ... Torrid ... Untopable ... Too Much For One Man!"

After going from nudies to roughies, Russ Meyer made this mondo film that explores San Francisco as well as the women who dance there in one of the first cities that permitted them to dance topless. As they show themselves to the camera, there's a non-stop barrage of a narrator speaking, the girls being interviewed and distorted guitars.

The women who appear include Bouncy, who is Babette "44-24-38 World's Most Sensational Exotic Entertainer" Bardot, who also appeared in Meyer's Common Law Cabin; Pat Barrington, who was in Mantis In Lace and dated jazz musician and serial killer Melvin Rees; Lucious (Sin Lenee); Buxotic (Darlene Gray); Yummy (Diane Young); Delicious (Darla Paris); Xciting (Donna X) and footage from Europe in the Raw of Veronique Gabriel, Greta Thorwald, Denice Duval, Abundavita, Heide Richter, Gigi La Touche and Yvette Le Grand. There's also screentest footage from Lorna of Lorna Maitland.

Pat Barrington says in this "All you're doing is a dance - it has no meaning whatsoever" and she's right. This is an hour and fifty-five minutes of women dancing nude in front of radios. What must a girl possess to measure up as a topless dancer? She must have a body well above the average in physical beauty - unblemished by an uneven suntan!" This is as pure a journey into what Euss Meyer wanted to see - well, he called it "crud" and made it just to make money - if he were the paying customer. I kind of enjoyed Abundavita, who has antenna of some sort. Also, Yvette LeGrand dances at the Crazy Horse and that reminds me that as dumb as Motley Crue was, they wrote "Girl, Girls, Girls" and that ensured they'd get free lap dances at every bar they mentioned (those would be the now closed Dollhouse in Ft. Lauderdale, Tattletails in Atlanta, the Seventh Veil on the Sunset Strip, Crazy Horse in Paris, the Body Shop in Hollywood, the closed Tropicana in Los Angeles and the closed Marble Arch in Vancouver).

This movie has no redeeming value unless you like to watch naked women dance next to trains. Maybe I do, you know?
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