Fri, Oct 8, 1971
Edith writes a poem and gets a letter from a company that wants to turn it into a song for only $30. Archie buys a "dog alarm" and a gun to protect the house all for only $60. The family gets into an argument over which is more important and Archie agrees to give the gun back. That night two burglars, who have just robbed a jewelry store, break into the house and hold the Bunkers hostage until the heat is off. At one point, the thief threatens to take off with the $30 but Edith talks him out of it by offering to sing the song. After hearing her sing, they decide that the Bunkers are in such sad shape that it would be cruel to rob them. The next day Archie reads in the newspaper that the crooks were arrested, and Mike reveals that he fixed the dog alarm by replacing it with Edith's singing.