This budget-starved Italian action/sci-fi hybrid features David Warbeck as a Miami reporter who is chosen by the ghosts of the people of Atlantis (!) to stop an evil businessman (Academy Award nominee John Ireland) from using a telepathic fetus grown using spores from an asteroid to rule the world. You got all that? Despite such a loopy plot, this is actually quite a bore and the RAIDERS OF ATLANTIS sneers at it with contempt. Honestly, the most (intentionally) creative thing about this flick is the slight reworking of Herbie Hancock's BEVERLY HILLS COP theme for the opening titles. The most unintentionally creative bit involves a scene in a lab that is inexplicably shown twice back-to-back. Perhaps director Alberto De Martino wanted to get all avant garde on us in the twilight of his career? I was going to declare this Ireland's worst film on his resume but then I saw SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS was listed on there. I would also like to safely declare that I am probably the only person in the history of the world to do a double feature of this and Hitchcock's VERTIGO.
12 Reviews
Help! The world will be destroyed by an evil intergalactic fetus!
Coventry1 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
The basic premise of "Miami Golem" most definitely deserves a spot in the top, say, fifty of most demented cinematic plots ever scripted down! I know top 50 doesn't sound too impressive, but I've seen a lot of really weird films with lunatic plots. I was prepared from something convoluted, because the film was directed and co-written by Alberto De Martino, who was one of Italy's most ambitious and creative but sadly underrated film makers. De Martino steals multiple ideas from successful blockbusters, like most Italian directors did around that time, but he always adds a lot of stuff to make it even more complex, confusing and overwhelming. Not all of De Martino's films are worthwhile, but some of them are extremely underrated, like "A Special Magnum for Tony Saitta", "Holocaust 2000" and "Formula for a Murder". The concept of "Miami Golem" contains elements from numerous great Sci-Fi and adventure flicks (like "Alien", "Starman" , "Close encounters of the Third Kind", "ET",
) but I wouldn't exactly call it a rip-off. The only thing that is really shamelessly stolen from another film is the opening synthesizer theme song that sounds almost identical to Harold Faltermeyer's Axel F. from "Beverly Hills Cop". The rest of the film is an amusing hodgepodge of fantasy, Sci-Fi, action, horror and superhero-movie gimmicks. It certainly doesn't always make sense (most of the time it doesn't, actually) but "Miami Golem" is undeniably an imaginative and multifaceted film that kept my mate and I fascinated from start to finish.
The plot is extremely difficult to briefly summarize but I'll try anyway. Sceptical journalist Craig Milford is reporting the story of a German scientist who allegedly discovered extraterrestrial DNA inside a crashed meteorite and managed to clone it. The DNA cell belongs to an evil alien force that already exterminated another interstellar race in the past and it will unquestionably destroy the whole of mankind as soon as it grows large enough in size. If this isn't problematic enough already, the rich Mr. Anderson ordered to steal the slowly growing evil fetus because he thinks that he can manipulate it and use it to obtain world domination. With the help of some good aliens in an earthly disguise, Craig Milford has the difficult task of safeguarding the planet from the evil fetus. Okay, I know all this sounds grotesque and silly, but I assure that "Miami Golem" is in fact a light-headed and easy digestible flick. The first half of the film may come across as overly hectic and confusing, because Alberto De Martino attempts to keep the plot secret through the use of preposterous red herrings. There are subliminal ghostly appearances, supportive characters behaving exaggeratedly mysterious for no real reason and at a certain point there are even speculations about the lost continent of Atlantis. This is all misleading padding material, however, and as soon as the set-up is more or less clear "Miami Golem" turns into an ordinary early 80's popcorn action movie with bloody massacres, flamboyant chase sequences (in the Florida Everglades!), explosions, gratuitous sleaze and nasty little fetus-monsters in jars.
Now, I really don't want to raise the impression that "Miami Golem" is a lost and undeservedly obscure gem of Italian exploitation cinema. Make no mistake, this is a pretty bad movie! The events only become endurable if you accept the stupidity and incoherence of the plot and if you don't succeed in that, well than this is just a non-stop spitfire of negative aspects. The acting performances are painfully awful. Particularly B-movie veteran John Ireland, as the archetypal James Bond villainous character, doesn't seem the least interested in the script. You can tell from his grimaces and by the way he delivers his lines that he also thinks the whole production is retarded and simply signed up for the paycheck. Laura Trotter is probably the least sexy female lust-object ever, and the person who drew the marvelously chaotic VHS cover must have felt exactly the same way, because the ravishing girl on the cover does not appear anywhere in the movie. What an embarrassment this must be for Mrs. Trotter. Still, her completely gratuitous nudity sequences compensate for this, as she's quite hot from the neck down. And, finally, there's the unforgettable scene where David Warbeck takes down a helicopter from a moving school bus with a regular pistol! I don't think even John Rambo can do this, while he's a beefcake Vietnam veteran and Warbeck's character is a simple TV-reporter.
The plot is extremely difficult to briefly summarize but I'll try anyway. Sceptical journalist Craig Milford is reporting the story of a German scientist who allegedly discovered extraterrestrial DNA inside a crashed meteorite and managed to clone it. The DNA cell belongs to an evil alien force that already exterminated another interstellar race in the past and it will unquestionably destroy the whole of mankind as soon as it grows large enough in size. If this isn't problematic enough already, the rich Mr. Anderson ordered to steal the slowly growing evil fetus because he thinks that he can manipulate it and use it to obtain world domination. With the help of some good aliens in an earthly disguise, Craig Milford has the difficult task of safeguarding the planet from the evil fetus. Okay, I know all this sounds grotesque and silly, but I assure that "Miami Golem" is in fact a light-headed and easy digestible flick. The first half of the film may come across as overly hectic and confusing, because Alberto De Martino attempts to keep the plot secret through the use of preposterous red herrings. There are subliminal ghostly appearances, supportive characters behaving exaggeratedly mysterious for no real reason and at a certain point there are even speculations about the lost continent of Atlantis. This is all misleading padding material, however, and as soon as the set-up is more or less clear "Miami Golem" turns into an ordinary early 80's popcorn action movie with bloody massacres, flamboyant chase sequences (in the Florida Everglades!), explosions, gratuitous sleaze and nasty little fetus-monsters in jars.
Now, I really don't want to raise the impression that "Miami Golem" is a lost and undeservedly obscure gem of Italian exploitation cinema. Make no mistake, this is a pretty bad movie! The events only become endurable if you accept the stupidity and incoherence of the plot and if you don't succeed in that, well than this is just a non-stop spitfire of negative aspects. The acting performances are painfully awful. Particularly B-movie veteran John Ireland, as the archetypal James Bond villainous character, doesn't seem the least interested in the script. You can tell from his grimaces and by the way he delivers his lines that he also thinks the whole production is retarded and simply signed up for the paycheck. Laura Trotter is probably the least sexy female lust-object ever, and the person who drew the marvelously chaotic VHS cover must have felt exactly the same way, because the ravishing girl on the cover does not appear anywhere in the movie. What an embarrassment this must be for Mrs. Trotter. Still, her completely gratuitous nudity sequences compensate for this, as she's quite hot from the neck down. And, finally, there's the unforgettable scene where David Warbeck takes down a helicopter from a moving school bus with a regular pistol! I don't think even John Rambo can do this, while he's a beefcake Vietnam veteran and Warbeck's character is a simple TV-reporter.
There's No Golem In Miami, Just A Naughty Baby ET.
P3n-E-W1s310 September 2022
Greetings And Salutations, and welcome to my review of Miami Golem; here's the breakdown of my ratings:
Story: 1.00 Direction: 1.00 Pace: 1.00 Acting: 0.75 Enjoyment: 0.75
TOTAL: 4.50 out of 10.00
So along comes another David Warbeck movie. Boy, this guy had the bad luck to end up in third-rate flicks. Unfortunately, that also goes for Miami Golem.
The story that Gianfranco Clerici, Vincenzo Mannino, and Alberto De Martino delivered to the audience had plenty of scope to be intriguing and engaging. And though they provide a few of those elements, they missed out on opportunities and fluffed a few of the ones they included. The concept of growing an alien from an unknown substance found in a meteorite is magnificent and completely human. Unleash the monster, then stand there stupified as you ask yourself, what have I done? But the trouble with the story rears its ugly head early in the narrative. Why is there only a tycoon after the living alien goo? If it's that important, where are all the guards? Why aren't any governments involved? It's illogical, even when it's explained. Sadly, the irrationality doesn't stop there. The writers introduce us to Joanna Fitzgerald, who can decrypt ancient Atlantian and may not be fully human. Though, it doesn't stop reporter Craig Milford from frigging in her rigging. There's also a mysterious bloke who may be an alien mobile phone as he receives messages from the final frontier. It would have strengthed the story along with the characters had the writers fleshed them out more. In fact, most of the characters needed extra pizazz, but none more than Milford. For a lead character, he's pretty uninteresting - but that could be down to David Warbeck's portrayal.
Martino also directed the movie and, in some ways, did a worse job than with the writing. With the story, he tried to make things fascinating and provocative. Regrettably, he sticks to the tried and tested point-and-shoot style. There's little in the way of inventiveness. His style is the epitome of averageness. However, he attempts to vary the film's flow, especially when we get to the action sequences, but they marginally miss their mark.
The performances are a mix of passable and woeful. Sadly, Warbeck's impassive performance as Milford hinders the movie most. I felt sorry for Laura Trotter because it must have been like playacting a love scene with a 2x4 plank. Martino must have noted his apathy because in the segment where he talks to himself - sorry, an alien caricature of himself - Martino removed the camera from the false Milford. This way, the viewers couldn't mistake one for the other.
Miami Golem isn't a movie I'd quickly recommend to either the Horror or Sc-Fi fans. It's so average and carelessly written that it renders it a leave-your-brain-at-the-door film that is better watched with your sarcastic mates after you've supped a bevvy or three.
Listen! No good will come of growing that alien organism in that test tube, so come here and study my IMDb lists - Absolute Horror and The Final Frontier to see where I ranked Miami Golem - or to find a better movie to watch.
Take Care & Stay Well.
Story: 1.00 Direction: 1.00 Pace: 1.00 Acting: 0.75 Enjoyment: 0.75
TOTAL: 4.50 out of 10.00
So along comes another David Warbeck movie. Boy, this guy had the bad luck to end up in third-rate flicks. Unfortunately, that also goes for Miami Golem.
The story that Gianfranco Clerici, Vincenzo Mannino, and Alberto De Martino delivered to the audience had plenty of scope to be intriguing and engaging. And though they provide a few of those elements, they missed out on opportunities and fluffed a few of the ones they included. The concept of growing an alien from an unknown substance found in a meteorite is magnificent and completely human. Unleash the monster, then stand there stupified as you ask yourself, what have I done? But the trouble with the story rears its ugly head early in the narrative. Why is there only a tycoon after the living alien goo? If it's that important, where are all the guards? Why aren't any governments involved? It's illogical, even when it's explained. Sadly, the irrationality doesn't stop there. The writers introduce us to Joanna Fitzgerald, who can decrypt ancient Atlantian and may not be fully human. Though, it doesn't stop reporter Craig Milford from frigging in her rigging. There's also a mysterious bloke who may be an alien mobile phone as he receives messages from the final frontier. It would have strengthed the story along with the characters had the writers fleshed them out more. In fact, most of the characters needed extra pizazz, but none more than Milford. For a lead character, he's pretty uninteresting - but that could be down to David Warbeck's portrayal.
Martino also directed the movie and, in some ways, did a worse job than with the writing. With the story, he tried to make things fascinating and provocative. Regrettably, he sticks to the tried and tested point-and-shoot style. There's little in the way of inventiveness. His style is the epitome of averageness. However, he attempts to vary the film's flow, especially when we get to the action sequences, but they marginally miss their mark.
The performances are a mix of passable and woeful. Sadly, Warbeck's impassive performance as Milford hinders the movie most. I felt sorry for Laura Trotter because it must have been like playacting a love scene with a 2x4 plank. Martino must have noted his apathy because in the segment where he talks to himself - sorry, an alien caricature of himself - Martino removed the camera from the false Milford. This way, the viewers couldn't mistake one for the other.
Miami Golem isn't a movie I'd quickly recommend to either the Horror or Sc-Fi fans. It's so average and carelessly written that it renders it a leave-your-brain-at-the-door film that is better watched with your sarcastic mates after you've supped a bevvy or three.
Listen! No good will come of growing that alien organism in that test tube, so come here and study my IMDb lists - Absolute Horror and The Final Frontier to see where I ranked Miami Golem - or to find a better movie to watch.
Take Care & Stay Well.
The Unexpectedly Bad
hae1340014 May 2003
A reporter, Craig Milford, who works for The James Keller Public Telecommunication Center, has an interview with a German professor of a Floridian university, who made an unknown creature based upon some substance of meteor(s). But then a man named Anderson, who is trying to control the whole planet with the creature, and his man kill the professor and his assistants and plunder the creature. So Craig and his new female psychic partner, Joanna Fitzgerald, who can communicate not only with human being but also with alien friend(s) of the creature, begin to find the creature and try to send it to an alien spaceship... This film has some great casts and staffs. For instance, it has the actor, David Warbeck of THE BEYOND, the actress, Laura Trotter of NIGHTMARE CITY, the special visual effects creator, Sergio Stivaletti of Dario Argento's masterpieces, and the director (and also the story- writer), Alberto De Martino of THE MAN WITH ICY EYES and THE KILLER IS ON THE PHONE. And these talented people make an incredibly bad film, named, nothing but this MIAMI GOLEM which is essentially a confusedly combined film of CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND with E.T.THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL. And this not-only-confused-but-also-crammed film has something worth; genetic engineering with psychical research. Consequently the film has at least one scientific and/or technical flaw; genetic engineering and psychical research are never compatible. (Strangely enough, regarding this strangely childish combination of genetic engineering and psychical research, the leading character, Craig, himself says THERE MUST BE A BETTER EXPLANATION to the short-haired psychic, Joanna. But, after all, the whole story of the film doesn't and can't present any kind of BETTER EXPLANATION.) In addition, this film has something more laughable; its problematic music. What the composer, who is credited as Robert Marry, provides is nothing but the strangely insistent BEVERLY-HILLS-COP-tasted music. I don't want to say this Italianised theme of BEVERLY HILLS COP per se is particularly bad music, but I have to say it seems to be manifestly clear the music does not have the fitness for this film per se at all. Indeed just who can think BEVERLY HILLS COP has the compatibility with genetic engineering and/or psychical research?
A film better described with sound effects than with words.
EyeAskance6 June 2003
Unimpressive import in the action/horror subgenre. Take note that the "action" is of the exploding car and airboat variety typical of 80s testosteroni and cheese flicks. As for the "horror"...that would be a fetal baby with heavy mascara in a pickling jar, supposedly a reality-bending alien who's extracted DNA sample is of great interest to the criminal underworld. The blink of of nudity we're offered is of the leading lady...her rack is pretty smokin', but she's otherwise at the ass-end of average, with a butch lesbian haircut.
In one especially hilarious and unbelievable drop-of-the-ball, there's a lengthy scene which twice-consecutively repeats itself for absolutely no reason at all. The most easily-detectable flub imaginable actually made it through the post-production stage of this floundering hunk-o'-junk, unless it happens to be a blooper specific to the particular video release I endured...in any case, it's a mind-blowing gaffe.
Another impotent selection from the late David Warbeck's woefully disconsonant filmography. He was a fine actor sadly choked in weak material, and his presence signifies the sole point of distinction in this torpid little bootless errand.
3.5/10. Awesome title, at any rate.
In one especially hilarious and unbelievable drop-of-the-ball, there's a lengthy scene which twice-consecutively repeats itself for absolutely no reason at all. The most easily-detectable flub imaginable actually made it through the post-production stage of this floundering hunk-o'-junk, unless it happens to be a blooper specific to the particular video release I endured...in any case, it's a mind-blowing gaffe.
Another impotent selection from the late David Warbeck's woefully disconsonant filmography. He was a fine actor sadly choked in weak material, and his presence signifies the sole point of distinction in this torpid little bootless errand.
3.5/10. Awesome title, at any rate.
Miami Golem
BandSAboutMovies16 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I have no idea what genre this movie is and I'll bet it has no idea either. It is an example of one of my favorite microgenre: Italian filmmakers in America, further subset Italian filmmakers in Florida*.
Alberto De Martino doesn't get mentioned in the same conversation as Argento or Fulci. He's not even in the Lenzi, Martino or Deodato world either. But he did direct The Antichrist and Holocaust 2000, two examples of the Xerox 70s occult boom that I have a particular fondness for. And he also made the shot in Canada poliziotteschi/giallo hybrid Strange Shadows In an Empty Room, which is a movie more people should watch and the downright weird superhero film The Pumaman. Also - and how can I forget this - he made the wildest Eurospy movie, Operation Kid Brother, which uses Sean Connery's kid brother and everyone else that has ever been in a Bond film, daring Cubby Brocoli to repeat the violence - and yes, murder allegedly - that he unleashed on Ted Healy.
For as oddball and quite frankly daffy as Miami Golem is, it has quite a pedigree when it comes to who wrote it: Gianfranco Clerici (The New York Ripper, Cannibal Holocaust) and Vincenzo Mannino (House on the Edge of the Park, Murder Rock).
De Martino was also smart to cast David Warbeck and Laura Trotter as the leads. If I had my way, this would say "The stars of The Beyond and Nightmare City are back together for the first time!"
Warbeck is Craig Milford, a local reporter sent to a college - let's assume it's the University of Miami - to interview a professor cloning a cell from DNA that was found inside a meteorite. This seems like the worst of ideas, but you know how movie science works. As Milford leaves, gunmen break in, kill everyone and take the alien cells. They start erasing anyone who knows anything about the experiment and as that includes Milford, he goes on the run.
Somehow, Milford becomes our backwoods planet's only savior as telekinetic businessman Anderson (John Ireland, who was in great stuff like Spartacus and Red River but I know him as King Arthur from Waxwork II: Lost in Time) wants to use that alien DNA, which is already growing into a quite honestly freaking me out looking alien fetus. He has help from another psychic extraterrestrial, Joanna Fitzgerald (Trotter), who he of course is going to do some reading under the covers with just as my wife walks in, angrily looks at the TV and says, "Why does this happen all the time in Italian movies?" and "That woman's body hair is upsetting."
The aliens left a message on the videotape for Milford that the alien baby is bad, baby, and we're going to have to do something about it. That means that we're going to watch Milford get launched around a room by a tentacled fetus, which I had no idea just how much I'd love. Also, by aliens, I mean that they are ghosts and one of them is just a big giant hand.
Between the score by Detto Mariano that approximates Harold Faltermeyer's "Axel F" and Jan Hammer's synth beats**, this movie's title - and alternative version Miami Horror - are supposed to make us think Crockett and Tubbs. De Martino going by the name Martin Herbert is also supposed to fool us into thinking this is an American movie. Thankfully, it is deliriously Italian, filled with swamp boats, assassins and conspiracy. It makes a great double feature for the similarly goofball UFO quasi-gialo Eyes Behind the Stars.
Compounding the fact that this is an action movie is that the poster has three helicopters and an airboat all racing away from a gigantic explosion while Werbeck holds a revolver and a woman who is not in this movie in any way wears an outfit that Vampirella would think is kind of uncomfortable.
Also: Werbeck shoots a helicopter out of the air with a handgun, the kind of lunacy that only Jack Nicholson in whiteface gets away with.
*Further Italy via Miami examples include: Miami Supercops, Cut and Run, American Rickshaw, Cruel Jaws, Super Fuzz, Aladdin and Nightmare Beach.
**The ripoff music in this movie was ironically reused - ripped off - for The Killer is Still Among Us.
Alberto De Martino doesn't get mentioned in the same conversation as Argento or Fulci. He's not even in the Lenzi, Martino or Deodato world either. But he did direct The Antichrist and Holocaust 2000, two examples of the Xerox 70s occult boom that I have a particular fondness for. And he also made the shot in Canada poliziotteschi/giallo hybrid Strange Shadows In an Empty Room, which is a movie more people should watch and the downright weird superhero film The Pumaman. Also - and how can I forget this - he made the wildest Eurospy movie, Operation Kid Brother, which uses Sean Connery's kid brother and everyone else that has ever been in a Bond film, daring Cubby Brocoli to repeat the violence - and yes, murder allegedly - that he unleashed on Ted Healy.
For as oddball and quite frankly daffy as Miami Golem is, it has quite a pedigree when it comes to who wrote it: Gianfranco Clerici (The New York Ripper, Cannibal Holocaust) and Vincenzo Mannino (House on the Edge of the Park, Murder Rock).
De Martino was also smart to cast David Warbeck and Laura Trotter as the leads. If I had my way, this would say "The stars of The Beyond and Nightmare City are back together for the first time!"
Warbeck is Craig Milford, a local reporter sent to a college - let's assume it's the University of Miami - to interview a professor cloning a cell from DNA that was found inside a meteorite. This seems like the worst of ideas, but you know how movie science works. As Milford leaves, gunmen break in, kill everyone and take the alien cells. They start erasing anyone who knows anything about the experiment and as that includes Milford, he goes on the run.
Somehow, Milford becomes our backwoods planet's only savior as telekinetic businessman Anderson (John Ireland, who was in great stuff like Spartacus and Red River but I know him as King Arthur from Waxwork II: Lost in Time) wants to use that alien DNA, which is already growing into a quite honestly freaking me out looking alien fetus. He has help from another psychic extraterrestrial, Joanna Fitzgerald (Trotter), who he of course is going to do some reading under the covers with just as my wife walks in, angrily looks at the TV and says, "Why does this happen all the time in Italian movies?" and "That woman's body hair is upsetting."
The aliens left a message on the videotape for Milford that the alien baby is bad, baby, and we're going to have to do something about it. That means that we're going to watch Milford get launched around a room by a tentacled fetus, which I had no idea just how much I'd love. Also, by aliens, I mean that they are ghosts and one of them is just a big giant hand.
Between the score by Detto Mariano that approximates Harold Faltermeyer's "Axel F" and Jan Hammer's synth beats**, this movie's title - and alternative version Miami Horror - are supposed to make us think Crockett and Tubbs. De Martino going by the name Martin Herbert is also supposed to fool us into thinking this is an American movie. Thankfully, it is deliriously Italian, filled with swamp boats, assassins and conspiracy. It makes a great double feature for the similarly goofball UFO quasi-gialo Eyes Behind the Stars.
Compounding the fact that this is an action movie is that the poster has three helicopters and an airboat all racing away from a gigantic explosion while Werbeck holds a revolver and a woman who is not in this movie in any way wears an outfit that Vampirella would think is kind of uncomfortable.
Also: Werbeck shoots a helicopter out of the air with a handgun, the kind of lunacy that only Jack Nicholson in whiteface gets away with.
*Further Italy via Miami examples include: Miami Supercops, Cut and Run, American Rickshaw, Cruel Jaws, Super Fuzz, Aladdin and Nightmare Beach.
**The ripoff music in this movie was ironically reused - ripped off - for The Killer is Still Among Us.
Humanoid Fetus Grows to Look Like a Demented Version of Yoda
jfrentzen-942-2042113 February 2024
A humanoid fetus, cloned from DNA found in a meteorite and nurtured in a petri dish, is stolen from a scientific institute by industrialist John Ireland. Somehow, he will use it to control the world's financial markets. Beings from "ancient Atlantis" recruit a cynical TV reporter (David Warbeck) to recapture it. Warbeck joins forces with alien Laura Trotti (a.k.a. Laura Trotter) to infiltrate Ireland's laboratory fortress and steal the creature.
Except for shots of a disintegrating animal carcass, Sergio Stivaletti's special effects are laughable. The golem fetus looks like a slimy peanut at first, and later resembles Yoda's demented brother. Warbeck deserves a pat on the back for enduring the script, which calls for him to shoot down a helicopter using a teeny pistol and say stuff like, "It's not every day that I get to meet somebody from outer space."
Except for shots of a disintegrating animal carcass, Sergio Stivaletti's special effects are laughable. The golem fetus looks like a slimy peanut at first, and later resembles Yoda's demented brother. Warbeck deserves a pat on the back for enduring the script, which calls for him to shoot down a helicopter using a teeny pistol and say stuff like, "It's not every day that I get to meet somebody from outer space."
Not as bad as you think. Quite enjoyed it! Classic Italian Cheese: Eighties Style.
leathermusic15 July 2007
Miami Golem aka Miami Horror is a saucy little mish mash of adventure. It's not horror, action or sci-fi; it's really a tacky combo of Hollywood elements &cliches sort of strung together logically. Stars David Warbeck and Laura Trotter put together solid performances. And the rest of the cast is up to task as well. At the end of his career, Albert DeMartino directs what is essentially a cornball script quite well. Some great photography of Miami is exploited by the filmmakers, in order to hammer home the concept that, this is indeed Miami. Which brings us to the issue of the other word in the title; golem/horror. Now, this little fella is ridiculously silly in appearance, yes. But so was Miami in the 80's and did I mention the script? Hilarious. As for the music, other reviewers have noted the obvious borrowing of Beverly Hills Cop motifs. But this happens only during the opening credits montage. The rest of the score works very well for helping to propel the corny script. Why the composer Detto Mariano so blatantly "borrowed" Axel's Theme is anybody's guess, but again, this is only during the very beginning of the freaking movie, so its not as big a deal as other reviewers have noted. Other musical passages are very dramatic and/or intense. Miami Golem is worth a look if you enjoyed such films as Devil Fish, Pod People or Puma Man. It is a charming little action movie that has ambitions which are reached for with endearing failure. Also I think it is interesting to note that Warbeck & Trotter each appeared in perhaps the 2 most special of all the Italian Horror films released in 1981, The Beyond & Nightmare City, respectively. In my mind these films represent the pinnacle of Italian Horror during the final part of its most amazing era. Although Miami Golem does not come near the level of visceral engagement those films create, it is nonetheless solid, this may almost be top notch entertainment.
Cheap, inept, and oddly endearing Italian sci-fi action
Leofwine_draca28 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Ultra-cheesy, extra low budget science fiction offering from Italy which remains strangely enthralling despite the numerous pitfalls and cheap atmosphere which highlight the declining standards of cult cinema in Italy during the mid-to-late '80s. Whether it's the location filming in the Everglades to give the movie an added oomph, or David Warbeck's winning performance in the leading role of television reporter turned gun-toting hero, Miami GOLEM is a hoot to watch and even more entertaining than Warbeck's similarly cheesy monster flick of 1976, PANIC, as directed by Tonino Ricci. Here the director is Alberto De Martino, who displays little of the style he brought to such films as THE TEMPTER and HOLOCAUST 2000. In fact the film as a whole is lacking in technical skill, with the only highlight being the various action set-pieces which are handled with some degree of eptitude.
The story jumps from one scene to the next with little rhyme or reason and the dialogue has to be heard to be believed - it's that cheesy and fake-sounding. What it all boils down to is Warbeck and his girlfriend Trotter fighting it out with the bad guys for possession of an alien embryo kept in a tank. The special effects of said alien are by Sergio Stivaletti, who gives it much the same kind of look as the demon child in DEMONS 2, which is to say it's fun in a so-bad-it's-good kind of way. Check out the hilarious powers of the alien, which uses telekinesis to throw its victims all over the shop! Other fun sci fi elements in the story include a ghostly haunting which is ripped straight out of GHOSTBUSTERS - except the floating "fright mask" isn't as scary here - and a dead rabbit which is dissolved by acid, which then proceeds to eat through the table ALIEN-style.
Warbeck's encounter with extraterrestrials starts off well, with an imaginatively-done scene involving a crop circle appearing in the middle of the swamps. Unfortunately all we get for aliens are some flashing lights and Warbeck's double, which cut down on effects costs of course. The film offers plenty of action, including jet boat chases through the Everglades and a fight between Warbeck and his pistol and a helicopter! Lots of minor characters get shot in repeated scenes. Things culminate in the stand-off finale between Warbeck and the alien, which shows him using his wits to defeat it by using whatever makeshift weapon comes to hand - axes, electricity, his gun, you name it. It's a lot of fun and impossible to dislike, especially when they make clever use of strobe lighting effects.
Remember the grand old days of the Italian exploitation film in the 1970s, which could boast a cast of a dozen Euro regulars? Sadly that's not the case here, and all we have is a small cast with three 'name' actors. The rest of the actors are the same kind of untalented bunch who turned up in the likes of ZOMBI 3 and other Bruno Mattei-directed films. Warbeck brings effortless charm to his part as the macho action hero and is as great as ever, whilst old-timer John Ireland barks orders but doesn't really do that much except stand around looking grim as the crime boss. The female love interest part is taken by Laura Trotter, sadly saddled with an appalling '80s mullet haircut (or is it a wig?) and looking a lot less attractive than the glamorous blonde of five years previously when she was in NIGHTMARE CITY. Sadly she strips off for a sex and shower scene, which is less than titillating.
The story jumps from one scene to the next with little rhyme or reason and the dialogue has to be heard to be believed - it's that cheesy and fake-sounding. What it all boils down to is Warbeck and his girlfriend Trotter fighting it out with the bad guys for possession of an alien embryo kept in a tank. The special effects of said alien are by Sergio Stivaletti, who gives it much the same kind of look as the demon child in DEMONS 2, which is to say it's fun in a so-bad-it's-good kind of way. Check out the hilarious powers of the alien, which uses telekinesis to throw its victims all over the shop! Other fun sci fi elements in the story include a ghostly haunting which is ripped straight out of GHOSTBUSTERS - except the floating "fright mask" isn't as scary here - and a dead rabbit which is dissolved by acid, which then proceeds to eat through the table ALIEN-style.
Warbeck's encounter with extraterrestrials starts off well, with an imaginatively-done scene involving a crop circle appearing in the middle of the swamps. Unfortunately all we get for aliens are some flashing lights and Warbeck's double, which cut down on effects costs of course. The film offers plenty of action, including jet boat chases through the Everglades and a fight between Warbeck and his pistol and a helicopter! Lots of minor characters get shot in repeated scenes. Things culminate in the stand-off finale between Warbeck and the alien, which shows him using his wits to defeat it by using whatever makeshift weapon comes to hand - axes, electricity, his gun, you name it. It's a lot of fun and impossible to dislike, especially when they make clever use of strobe lighting effects.
Remember the grand old days of the Italian exploitation film in the 1970s, which could boast a cast of a dozen Euro regulars? Sadly that's not the case here, and all we have is a small cast with three 'name' actors. The rest of the actors are the same kind of untalented bunch who turned up in the likes of ZOMBI 3 and other Bruno Mattei-directed films. Warbeck brings effortless charm to his part as the macho action hero and is as great as ever, whilst old-timer John Ireland barks orders but doesn't really do that much except stand around looking grim as the crime boss. The female love interest part is taken by Laura Trotter, sadly saddled with an appalling '80s mullet haircut (or is it a wig?) and looking a lot less attractive than the glamorous blonde of five years previously when she was in NIGHTMARE CITY. Sadly she strips off for a sex and shower scene, which is less than titillating.
The final product is something strangely original.
tarbosh2200023 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Craig Milford (Warbeck) is a Miami-based TV reporter who thinks he's seen it all. That is, until he gets involved in a complex plot that involves DNA from an alien race, the businessmen that want it to control the world, the malevolent extraterrestrial fetus that holds the powers, and a telepathic lady, Joanna Fitzgerald (Trotter) who can help him communicate with the forces from the universe that are commanding him to get the vital information away from Anderson (Ireland) and his goons. At first, Milford is skeptical, but as he goes on his journey of discovery, it does turn out that space aliens have chosen this lowly local TV reporter to be the one that will save all life in the universe. Will Craig Milford be up to his immense task? Miami Horror, also known as Miami Golem, was an Italian production directed by Alberto De Martino (using the pseudonym Martin Herbert) and picked up for release by AIP. The tape contains no AIP trailers. But whoever designed the logo used for the movie was clearly "inspired" by the then-hot Miami Vice TV show. Such was the power of Crockett and Tubbs, it even filtered down to bizarre sci-fi/horror/action hybrids such as this, which really have no connection to the show whatsoever. Even the music by Detto Mariano is decidedly Jan Hammer-esque. Miami Horror is a nutty movie, notable in its own right for its weird touches and strange effects, not to mention its grab-bag of a plot that's quirkily entertaining one minute, and oddly slow the next.
The great David Warbeck is always charismatic, and he basically carries the movie. This time around he's being shuffled between intergalactic commanders and being chased by rednecks with shotguns as he escapes on a fan-boat. One thing you can say about Miami Horror, it's never predictable. When he's not talking on his awesome car phone, he's shooting with a handgun at a helicopter that is chasing him in a sequence seemingly inspired by North By Northwest (1959). But does the heli explode? You'll just have to track down the movie to find out. It's really hard to describe Miami Horror - its off-kilter, off the wall, and off beat vibe is...off the beaten track and fans of Italian productions from the 80's should appreciate what's going on here.
Some people say Italian productions "ripped off" other, more popular movies and shows in order to exploit their current popularity. But as is evidenced here, that may be a starting point, but - just like the musical score - the final product is something strangely original. No one can deny that when all is said and done, there is no other movie like Miami Horror. Add to that some classic dubbing, some scientist goons fistfighting, and American Commandos (1986)-style repeated footage (not to mention all the other wacky ideas being floated around) and there you have it.
While it might not be to everyone's taste, Miami Horror is still around for people out there that have seen all the other Italian productions of the 80's and are still seeking out what's left.
The great David Warbeck is always charismatic, and he basically carries the movie. This time around he's being shuffled between intergalactic commanders and being chased by rednecks with shotguns as he escapes on a fan-boat. One thing you can say about Miami Horror, it's never predictable. When he's not talking on his awesome car phone, he's shooting with a handgun at a helicopter that is chasing him in a sequence seemingly inspired by North By Northwest (1959). But does the heli explode? You'll just have to track down the movie to find out. It's really hard to describe Miami Horror - its off-kilter, off the wall, and off beat vibe is...off the beaten track and fans of Italian productions from the 80's should appreciate what's going on here.
Some people say Italian productions "ripped off" other, more popular movies and shows in order to exploit their current popularity. But as is evidenced here, that may be a starting point, but - just like the musical score - the final product is something strangely original. No one can deny that when all is said and done, there is no other movie like Miami Horror. Add to that some classic dubbing, some scientist goons fistfighting, and American Commandos (1986)-style repeated footage (not to mention all the other wacky ideas being floated around) and there you have it.
While it might not be to everyone's taste, Miami Horror is still around for people out there that have seen all the other Italian productions of the 80's and are still seeking out what's left.
Story throws in the kitchen sink
lor_26 April 2023
My review was written in April 1988 after watching the film on Twin Tower video cassette.
Previously titled "Cosmos Killer" and "Miami Golem", "Miami Horror" is the belated video release of a 1985 Italian horror pic. Disappointing treatment wastes an interesting sci-fi plot line, further done in by bad dubbing.
British thesp David Warbeck plays a tv reporter, reminiscent of Edward Judd in the classic "The Day the Earth Caught Fire", who's covering the story of scientists studying the origins of life by cloning bacteria from meteorites. Gangsters led by John Ireland steal the bacterial culture, which they plan to develop into a superhuman, alien being.
Script injects equal parts sci-fi and mysticism, as Warbeck is befriended by pretty Laura Trotter, who links a weird message he has received to Martians, Atlantis and the ancient Etruscans. Ultimately she concludes that we're being warned by folks from a different dimension of another universe to cool it with these dangerous genetic experiments. The culture develops into a fetus and then a monster baby (nice special effects by Sergio Stivaletti) called a golem. Disappointing ending features a spaceship as well.
Pic doesn't hold together; it needed a few more rewrites and a bigger budget. There is some okay location footage in Florida but not enough special effects.
Previously titled "Cosmos Killer" and "Miami Golem", "Miami Horror" is the belated video release of a 1985 Italian horror pic. Disappointing treatment wastes an interesting sci-fi plot line, further done in by bad dubbing.
British thesp David Warbeck plays a tv reporter, reminiscent of Edward Judd in the classic "The Day the Earth Caught Fire", who's covering the story of scientists studying the origins of life by cloning bacteria from meteorites. Gangsters led by John Ireland steal the bacterial culture, which they plan to develop into a superhuman, alien being.
Script injects equal parts sci-fi and mysticism, as Warbeck is befriended by pretty Laura Trotter, who links a weird message he has received to Martians, Atlantis and the ancient Etruscans. Ultimately she concludes that we're being warned by folks from a different dimension of another universe to cool it with these dangerous genetic experiments. The culture develops into a fetus and then a monster baby (nice special effects by Sergio Stivaletti) called a golem. Disappointing ending features a spaceship as well.
Pic doesn't hold together; it needed a few more rewrites and a bigger budget. There is some okay location footage in Florida but not enough special effects.
"If I didn't hurt all over, I'd be laughing."
Backlash00721 August 2005
Warning: Spoilers
~Spoiler~
That quote says it all. So I'm perusing the video store in search of any horror films that I have not seen. I mean ANY. So something strikes my eye: Miami Horror. Why did it strike my eye? Because it blatantly and unapologetically ripped off the Miami Vice logo. It was such a bad rip I had to pick it up. Guess who's on the cover? David Warbeck! As if I needed another reason to rent it, the director's name was Martin Herbert, an obvious pseudonym. So I know it's Italian and I know I have to see it. The first few minutes are a prelude to an awful cinematic experience. Miami Horror not only ripped off the Miami Vice logo, they ripped off the Beverly Hills Cop score, only very terribly. And the editor must have disappeared because there are two scenes (TWO!) that are shown back to back twice in a row. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. If that's not enough, the acting is crap from everyone (even Warbeck), the story is completely random and boring, and the direction is amateurish at best. This is a long way from The Beyond for the late Mr. Warbeck. A shame too. There is a great scene where Warbeck takes out a helicopter with a pistol. I haven't seen something that awesome since Escape from the Bronx. And after all that, the Miami Horror turns out to be nothing more than the It's Alive baby. Avoid it. Don't be sucked in by the great cover art.
That quote says it all. So I'm perusing the video store in search of any horror films that I have not seen. I mean ANY. So something strikes my eye: Miami Horror. Why did it strike my eye? Because it blatantly and unapologetically ripped off the Miami Vice logo. It was such a bad rip I had to pick it up. Guess who's on the cover? David Warbeck! As if I needed another reason to rent it, the director's name was Martin Herbert, an obvious pseudonym. So I know it's Italian and I know I have to see it. The first few minutes are a prelude to an awful cinematic experience. Miami Horror not only ripped off the Miami Vice logo, they ripped off the Beverly Hills Cop score, only very terribly. And the editor must have disappeared because there are two scenes (TWO!) that are shown back to back twice in a row. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. If that's not enough, the acting is crap from everyone (even Warbeck), the story is completely random and boring, and the direction is amateurish at best. This is a long way from The Beyond for the late Mr. Warbeck. A shame too. There is a great scene where Warbeck takes out a helicopter with a pistol. I haven't seen something that awesome since Escape from the Bronx. And after all that, the Miami Horror turns out to be nothing more than the It's Alive baby. Avoid it. Don't be sucked in by the great cover art.
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