Thu, Jan 2, 1992
Frank and Carol go away for the weekend leaving Dana in charge. Dana has only one rule--no parties. The hotel is a dump but Frank and Carol try to make it work. Everything is going smooth until Frank throws his back out. At home, Dana has two friends over for a study group. Since she has two friends over, she allows each kid to have two friends as well. Eventually, a party breaks out. J.T. gets stuck in the chimney just before Frank and Carol get home and the fire department has to come over to free J.T.
Thu, Jan 16, 1992
After lecturing Dana endlessly about her drivers test, Frank is one day late to renew his license administratively, and fails the written test himself. Al tricks Frank into allowing her to learn drumming. For once she doesn't seem to feel like quitting soon. Dana now even drives Frank, until real traffic proves terrifying and he passes his make-up test.
Thu, Feb 6, 1992
Mark is doing homework for a classmate because he is being threatened. Carol feels that Mark should confront the bully in a peaceful way while Frank suggests that Mark defend himself. The bully happens to be a girl which gets Al's attention. Al begins to consider Mark a brother and sticks up for him. J.T. is running the 100M for the JV track team and breaks the school's record. Dana has to write a report on J.T. for the school newspaper. She writes a negative article but J.T. gets the typesetter to publish a very positive one.
Thu, Feb 13, 1992
J.T. helps Al come up with a name for her band and he becomes the manager. The band gets to perform at the bowling alley where Frank just did a remodeling job. The other four girls in the band get the flu and J.T. is forced to get Dana and Karen as replacements. Since no one else is available, J.T. and Cody dress up as girls. The crowd finds out J.T. and Cody are guys and Carol saves the band by performing herself. There is a mouse loose in the house. Frank wants to kill it but Carol believes the mouse should live.
Thu, Feb 27, 1992
Frank's contractor friend, John Patterson, invites him and his family to join an exclusive country club. While the Lamberts and Fosters engage in a series of gags, Dana fumes about having to come along in the first place; she's sure she'll be embarrassed by Frank's oafish, clumsy ways. However, she winds up sticking up for her step-father when she finds out the only reason Patterson invited him to join was to make him the butt of cruel jokes.
Thu, Mar 5, 1992
JT is so desperate to be introduced to school 'hottie' Tina that he agrees to be Dana's slave for a whole humiliating week. Frank's father, grandpa Bill, visits and presents his far younger bride Luanne Dexter to the family. Frank remembers having seen her as bachelor party cake stripper, but they never discuss this matter. When he gathers the courage, Bill doesn't believe him. Date Tina proves a terrible, incompatible snob.
Wed, Feb 26, 1992
Frank is turning forty and Carol fears he'll go through a midlife crisis and maybe have an affair. So she gets him a boy's dream, flying lessons, and goes along. Unfortunately the flight instructor, Mel, has health problems. Cody and J.T. got him the shower head he wanted for his birthday and insist on installing it themselves - without the instructions. The girls bicker about baking a birthday cake.
Thu, Apr 23, 1992
Port Washington's Lodge elects Frank as first deputy Grand Mallard. So he can coach Cody to pledge as new member, and supervise that his project isn't too ludicrous even for that bunch. He also gets to MC the Mother and Miss Mallard pageant. Karen sees that as her first step to a modeling career, so Carol can't refuse entering, nor leave after judge Howard overdoes his customary 'flirting'. The grand day arrives for both.
Thu, Sep 17, 1992
It is time for Dana to take the SAT. Just as she is about to sit down, Cody shows up. He does something new every week. When the scores arrive in the mail, Cody actually did better than Dana. Dana challenges Cody to take the SAT again. Cody agrees and beats her again. After a long talk with Carol, Dana must learn to live with her scores.
Thu, Sep 24, 1992
The school year starts even harder the usual. Even Mark is terrified he has to take wood-shop. Al's cooking is so bad it requires power-tools to cut it. Worst off is JT's with a Shakespeare assignment for Carol's former favorite teacher, Mrs. Hill, and a class visit from his stepmother. It turns out 'Fishface' grades jocks a D, even after Frank coached JT on Hamlet all night. Until Carol steps in.
Thu, Oct 1, 1992
JT is desperate enough for a date with popular Judy to pay Karen back for her fashion and grooming help, to Dana's amusement. Frank felt his back hampered him joining Cody jumping as a 'human fly'. He is tempted by 'macho rivalry' for the kids' admiration with Al's friend Lori's dad, former football star Ted Davis.
Thu, Oct 15, 1992
Al and Brendan get more than they bargained for when they agree to take care of a neighbor's St. Bernard ... way more, especially after the dog's masters decide to move away and leave the dog in the Lamberts' care. Everyone becomes even more miserable when Carol falls in love with the slobbering mutt.
Thu, Oct 22, 1992
Dana is promoted to manager of a '50s-style restaurant, and her condescending, overbearing demeanor quickly takes its toll on employees J.T. and Karen to the point that they resign. Frank and Carol are sympathetic to Dana and help out during lunch hour ... until Dana again asserts herself. In the end, Dana learns a lesson about what being "the boss" means.
Thu, Oct 29, 1992
Karen realizes a dream when she takes a modeling job in Chicago, but she has to deal with her overbearing mother. Carol tags along and interferes with the photo shoot, angering Karen. However, one of the other models takes Karen aside and shares her dream ... just to be a kid. Meanwhile, Dana - and then the others, one by one - come down with the flu. They all quickly make Frank their butler, which (along with Mark sharing how often he has to vomit) drives family patriarch crazy.
Thu, Nov 5, 1992
Frank becomes worried when he learns Dana has asked Mike Walters (aka "Mike the Mover") out on a date, particularly since he has learned Mike has a reputation of pressuring his dates into having sex. However, a plan to spy on Dana and make sure no hanky-panky takes place backfires, and Dana quickly accuses her stepfather of meddling. The next day, Mike shows his true colors during an unannounced visit, and Frank is there to back up Dana when she asks him to leave. Meanwhile, J.T. agrees to wax and wash Frank's new truck, but buys a substandard brand of wax that ruins the truck's paint job ... and Frank's trust in his eldest son.
Thu, Nov 12, 1992
Dana and J.T. become rival candidates for class president, J.T.'s candidacy prompted after he becomes annoyed that the only candidates are "dweebs and geeks" and that there are no everyman candidates. The candidacies polarize the household, and eventually J.T. wins. However, the work quickly becomes more than J.T. has bargained for and he quickly resigns.
Thu, Dec 3, 1992
Carol imposes a severe crackdown in family spending after a long-overdue video is found under Brendan's bed. The other siblings immediately blame Brendan, and their behavior toward him becomes so rude and disdainful that he decides to run away. It isn't long before the youngest Lambert is found (in Cody's van), and after Frank and Carol reassure Brendan that he wasn't to blame, the other children realize they need to apologize.