This movie was exactly what I expected it to be when i first read the casting. I probably could have written a more exciting plot, it's a pity that they left it to a pack of Howler Monkeys. Alberto Tomba was surely a good skier but he has to thank God (and we too) that he does not have to rely on his actor skills to earn his living. He can't play, he can't talk, he can't even move very good on mainland without his skis... Michelle Hunziker is a pretty blonde girl, and that's all. She obviously wasn't chosen for her astounding competence in dramatic roles but most probably for her nice legs. Nevertheless I must admit that she could be the Tomba's acting teacher, because he's even a worse actor than her, and that's funny, especially considering that she isn't italian. I laughed all the time, watching this movie. I found it so ridiculous and meaningless that it actually made me laugh, loud, very loud.
12 Reviews
An unbelievably bad movie...
andymase1 August 2000
Probably somebody heard of Alberto Tomba. A former policeman, a former sky champion, and, now, a TERRIBLE actor. "Alex L'Ariete" was planned to be a TV "mini serial", but the Italian television itself refused to show the movie on its channels. Now it's a, believe me, ridiculous movie. The script it's simply hilarious (it's supposed to be a dramatic movie), something like a 5 years old kid work. But what really blows you away it's the amateurish acting: Alberto Tomba, who actually was not believable as a policeman himself, plays terribly a totally silly character: a special operations italian policeman specialized in smashing doors open! ("ariete" is "ram"). This super-guy will try to save a young nice girl life (an actual italian "little" TV showgirl, married to the singer Eros Ramazzotti): nice but absolutely inept in the acting. Lose this one and make yourself a favour. A movie that is a shame to Italian cinema industry: only John Travolta in Earth Attack got close..
my favorite "so bad it's so good" movie
ahmalavo21 June 2013
Oh yes! This is THE MOVIE.
"Alex l'ariete" is a comedy, action, crime movie directed by Damiano Damiani starring Alberto Tomba (famous Italian ski champion) and Michelle Hunziker (swiss girl who was married with the singer Eros Ramazzotti).
This is probably the worst movie ever made. Really bad actors, especially Alberto Tomba (speaks with a ridiculous accent), really bad story, a lot of mistakes.... and almost 2 hours! It's hard to finish this movie. But it's also really funny find all the errors of the film.
A "must see movie" to watch with friends, beer and popcorn.
"Alex l'ariete" is a comedy, action, crime movie directed by Damiano Damiani starring Alberto Tomba (famous Italian ski champion) and Michelle Hunziker (swiss girl who was married with the singer Eros Ramazzotti).
This is probably the worst movie ever made. Really bad actors, especially Alberto Tomba (speaks with a ridiculous accent), really bad story, a lot of mistakes.... and almost 2 hours! It's hard to finish this movie. But it's also really funny find all the errors of the film.
A "must see movie" to watch with friends, beer and popcorn.
Mesmerizing
lukedibalsamo6 December 2017
One of the finest Italian movies ever made. It reminds masterpieces such as La dolce vita by federico fellini and il sorpasso by dino risi.
At first it seems a road movie, but later on you realize that is something more. It shows the true romance compared to the innermost violence of men. Remarkable is also the perfect soundtrack, fitting perfectly the emotions of our protagonist; Alberto Tomba and Michelle Hunziker
At first it seems a road movie, but later on you realize that is something more. It shows the true romance compared to the innermost violence of men. Remarkable is also the perfect soundtrack, fitting perfectly the emotions of our protagonist; Alberto Tomba and Michelle Hunziker
Don' t watch this movie !!!!!
focond-113 December 2002
Your brain will be grateful towards you. The acting 's terrible and Orso Maria Guerrini' s talent has been misused . What else could I write? Michelle Hunziker? She has a beautiful pair of legs, but nothing else. As for Alberto Tomba, well his surname in English means grave, so he'd better act in a B-horror movie
to call this garbage a "movie" is an "Overstatement" in extreme!!!!
tonyenglish9116 October 2012
Warning: Spoilers
"this review contains spoilers"
Year 2000.A movie made to compete with the likes of Mission impossible 2 and the gladiator.!!A movie made to launch the acting career of a former ski racing champion.Boy o boy did everything take a u-turn down the toilet after its release,well you only have watch the first ten minutes to understand what I'm talking about!!Alberto Tomba or Il grande Albertone as the Italian press called him,stares in "Alex l'Ariete" a crime/police action flick considered to be the worst film ever in the history of Italian cinema and the cult of trash!!what an hon-our..
What can i say!!just calling it a film is a "compliment".The acting is elementary,a plot that seems to be written by seven year olds,the protagonists suffer loss of memory,but a minute later remember everything!a quick example is when Alex(Tomba)is transfered by his superior to a little town(Monte dell'olmo) in the Alps.when the conversation between the two takes place Alex asks his superior where Monte dell'olmo is located??the superior replies that he doesn't know!a minute later talking with a friend Alex says that he is being transfered in the alps.what?mind you thats not the only problem!unfortunately...
In many scenes the dubbing is scandalously bad as if the dubbing director rushed it to go on holiday,numerous sequences make no sense and don't relate in any manner with the actual plot,they seem thrown in to make the film last at least an hour,because from my eye half an hour would of been sufficient to sum up the whole story.When did you ever witness a film run for 30 minutes?i haven't,but they could of done an exception here.Special effects are nowhere to be seen..Tomba blasts away rounds of machine gun fire towards a mini lorry which strangely doesn't suffer any king of damage.not even a little hole on the entire structure but just a few sparks.... magic!!
its meant to be a dramatic film but its filled with moments of unintentional comedy,the actors act as if the situation is critical but in reality they make you burst into laughter not only for their acting but also for their facial expressions..it has to be said that on this matter the master that steals the show is Mr Alberto Tomba.during filming notice that his eyes are moving,why,you may ask?? hes reading the play script because he cant remember two words "Porcaccia la miseria".there are many other moments where the the play script is used on a frequent basis mind you..i don't want to spoil the fun!!
the film was released in July.A super flop at the box office,with a budget of 6 million euros,it earned a miserable 3 and half thousand euros and to justify the films failure Alberto tomba said in the press that "in summer periods nobody goes to the cinema".what a brick!!! i prefer not to say nothing more on the subject.
Damiano Damiani was the director.he must of been either absent during filming and directed it via telephone or must of suffered severe brain damage!!nothing else can explain how a decent director who in the 1960's produced decent movies recognized worldwide,and directed italy's finest actors such as Sophia Loren and Claudia Cardinale just to name a few came out of the blues and deliver this dustbin??What on earth was he thinking with this failure?Was it way to celebrate the new millennium?? no comment
Alex l'Ariete made me laugh so so hard and loud for a whole year.during classes my friend and i would sit through lessons watching it,we would laugh so much that we got to the point of having belly ache,to be on the verge of tears and getting shouted by the teacher!!damn it was fun!! Tomba's face!!!epic
as a comedy-recommended so to have fun with your friends and family,otherwise as crime/police flick its to be avoided!!!
comedy, my vote 10/10
action flick, my vote 0/10
Year 2000.A movie made to compete with the likes of Mission impossible 2 and the gladiator.!!A movie made to launch the acting career of a former ski racing champion.Boy o boy did everything take a u-turn down the toilet after its release,well you only have watch the first ten minutes to understand what I'm talking about!!Alberto Tomba or Il grande Albertone as the Italian press called him,stares in "Alex l'Ariete" a crime/police action flick considered to be the worst film ever in the history of Italian cinema and the cult of trash!!what an hon-our..
What can i say!!just calling it a film is a "compliment".The acting is elementary,a plot that seems to be written by seven year olds,the protagonists suffer loss of memory,but a minute later remember everything!a quick example is when Alex(Tomba)is transfered by his superior to a little town(Monte dell'olmo) in the Alps.when the conversation between the two takes place Alex asks his superior where Monte dell'olmo is located??the superior replies that he doesn't know!a minute later talking with a friend Alex says that he is being transfered in the alps.what?mind you thats not the only problem!unfortunately...
In many scenes the dubbing is scandalously bad as if the dubbing director rushed it to go on holiday,numerous sequences make no sense and don't relate in any manner with the actual plot,they seem thrown in to make the film last at least an hour,because from my eye half an hour would of been sufficient to sum up the whole story.When did you ever witness a film run for 30 minutes?i haven't,but they could of done an exception here.Special effects are nowhere to be seen..Tomba blasts away rounds of machine gun fire towards a mini lorry which strangely doesn't suffer any king of damage.not even a little hole on the entire structure but just a few sparks.... magic!!
its meant to be a dramatic film but its filled with moments of unintentional comedy,the actors act as if the situation is critical but in reality they make you burst into laughter not only for their acting but also for their facial expressions..it has to be said that on this matter the master that steals the show is Mr Alberto Tomba.during filming notice that his eyes are moving,why,you may ask?? hes reading the play script because he cant remember two words "Porcaccia la miseria".there are many other moments where the the play script is used on a frequent basis mind you..i don't want to spoil the fun!!
the film was released in July.A super flop at the box office,with a budget of 6 million euros,it earned a miserable 3 and half thousand euros and to justify the films failure Alberto tomba said in the press that "in summer periods nobody goes to the cinema".what a brick!!! i prefer not to say nothing more on the subject.
Damiano Damiani was the director.he must of been either absent during filming and directed it via telephone or must of suffered severe brain damage!!nothing else can explain how a decent director who in the 1960's produced decent movies recognized worldwide,and directed italy's finest actors such as Sophia Loren and Claudia Cardinale just to name a few came out of the blues and deliver this dustbin??What on earth was he thinking with this failure?Was it way to celebrate the new millennium?? no comment
Alex l'Ariete made me laugh so so hard and loud for a whole year.during classes my friend and i would sit through lessons watching it,we would laugh so much that we got to the point of having belly ache,to be on the verge of tears and getting shouted by the teacher!!damn it was fun!! Tomba's face!!!epic
as a comedy-recommended so to have fun with your friends and family,otherwise as crime/police flick its to be avoided!!!
comedy, my vote 10/10
action flick, my vote 0/10
Oh, My, Oh, My!
AlessiaGiangia1 May 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Oh. My. Goodness! What a (bad) movie! This one is a movie you won't easily forget, because of two things, the first being the amount of laughs you get by seeing Tomba "acting" (to be remembered his shout when a Group of criminals kills his colleague and friend); the second being the beauty of Michelle Hunziker who's actually better than Tomba (and it's not so difficult). I have to say another thing about this movie: Actors (well... the people that are supposed to be Actors) are not the only ones who failed. A special mention must go to the director and "props makers" for giving the worst special effects aver. What can I add? This movie is so bad that it's actually good (for a laugh).
One of the funniest things on the planet
gianmarcoronconi22 November 2021
This film is to be watched at least once in a lifetime. The film makes you laugh at the lowest quality it has, it's all bad from the script, to the directing and the acting. There are some moments that should be serious and instead make you laugh an exaggeration.
Beyond any imagination
RaccoonRocky22 October 2020
I knew this is a bad one but every now and then I like watching a bad movie because sometimes they are funny but... this one is beyond any imagination. It's not even funny. I watched the whole movie, once and never again, but my eyes were in pain.
Fantastic!!
rambolola415 September 2004
That film is absolutely fantastic!! If you watch it with your friends it can be a very nice day... Obviously you have to know that the film is stupid and very bad directed and acted (Tomba/Unziker what a couple), and that is probably the worse film in the world, but you can enjoy it very much. We watched it in 19 and it was a very nice evening. The best scenes are the first one, when the criminals kill the friend of Alex, and he tries to act like a desperate, and the result is a comic scene of first category... And then when he shows to Leva (Antevleva, what a name) the "Palassio di giusstissia", and then the accident of Leva, that once is going on her car out of the road, and a second later, the car is completely empty! What a magic!
Wonderful sample of trash
cavallorazzo9 March 2009
I've recently watched this movie, in a lazy Sunday afternoon, with some friend of mine and we have a lot of fun! This movie is a masterpiece of trash. Try to watch it with this purpose! It hadn't been expected, of course, but the performance provided by the actors (and Alberto Tomba is absolutely the best), the weak script and the low-cost budget had created an amazing mix of foolish things. Tomba was just retired from alpine ski racing, where he was a dominant technical skier in the late 1980s and 1990s. Tomba won three Olympic gold medals, two World Championships, and nine World Cup season titles. Seriously about the director: nobody knows why Damiano Damiani he has signed this movie. All the other Damiani's directions are considerable.
You need to be in the right mood
UaiZ13 August 2014
This film is so bad that it has become a cult in Italy. You just need to remember that to fully appreciate it you need to watch it with many friends, and most important NOT in a sober state. Remarkable are the baby stroller scene, the desperation in Alessandro when his friend dies, and the bar scene.
It's truly a masterpiece. There's even a character acted by Orso Maria Guerrini, the famous testimonial of an Italian beer. The movie has been seen in theaters by ONLY 597 PEOPLE, but it has become a must-have in every home collection.
If you want to really surprise your friend with an unexpected movie choice, you now know what you have to do. You just need to search this movie NOW because it's not easy to find anywhere. I really dunno why.
It's truly a masterpiece. There's even a character acted by Orso Maria Guerrini, the famous testimonial of an Italian beer. The movie has been seen in theaters by ONLY 597 PEOPLE, but it has become a must-have in every home collection.
If you want to really surprise your friend with an unexpected movie choice, you now know what you have to do. You just need to search this movie NOW because it's not easy to find anywhere. I really dunno why.
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