No Return (2003) Poster

(2003)

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3/10
Sadly Bad
capncrusty9 July 2005
Low budget? Okay, fine; not a problem. If the story is good, then who needs seven-figure special effects? (If I had a buck for every time I've suffered through the reverse, I could tear up the mortgage right now.) And even if the story isn't so hot...well, then, capable acting and directing still can carry most efforts through.

Sadly, both munched in this ultimately poor film; which is even more unfortunate, because the atmosphere was creepy enough. But I've witnessed more believable emoting in a middle school play. The dialog especially was delivered as if most of the "actors" were reading it for the first time. One take, maybe?

That IS low-budget.

As well, I notice from the IMDb that this was the first film for many of the primaries. It shows.

So, I give this gobbler three stars, and all of it for the unnerving ambiance--essentially the only thing that worked.
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1/10
Genuinely the worst film I've ever had the displeasure of watching
thelittleimpaler13 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I am doing a research project on films that represent mental health/illness and for some reason this popped up, it fit my criteria so I watched it. After 2 minutes of opening credits, it began and I knew I was in for an hour and a half of awful writing and tragic attempts at acting.

The premise of the film is that Alice's husband, Michael tragically dies for some unknown reasoning and he comes back from the grave to haunt her because he doesn't want her moving on to better things. The acting wasn't foreign from true crime re-enactments, the actors had no chemistry and the characters were very unlikable. I didn't empathise with Alice, I felt that she had the emotional range of a nail clipper. Within 10 minutes I frankly didn't care about the outcome and realised that it was not at all relevant to my research but finished it out of pure stubbornness. It felt like the actor playing Michael was someone's uncle filling in, he wasn't creepy, he was just very punchable, I had to take my headphones out within a minute of him talking as I felt I was getting an ASMR assault.

I don't consider myself a film snob and will frankly watch anything that catches my interest however I could not let this slide. The writing was so disjointed and awkward that it felt like the actors had rehearsed their lines separately. The camera angles were uncomfortable and it felt that the shots were too long and drawn out.

The 'twists' in the film are genuinely unfulfilling and cancel each other out, I'd also like to question the power sets ghosts are given, Michael could change his image in photographs, become a physical manifestation, appear in a TV or computer screen, somewhat possess Steve in his sleep, move his toothbrush, gun and coffee cup whenever he pleases, he can appear to other people in dreams oh and he can change writing in a diary and open up a portal to the afterlife.

The film itself felt repetitive and despite the short runtime I felt like I was watching this film for hours. The plot was very lacklustre and all the side characters were forgettable and bland.

The worst part about this film is that I cant even use it in my research, thus wasting an hour and a half of my time. If you want to genuinely be offended by every aspect of the production of a film, I recommend this one for sure.
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8/10
A good low budget horror film.
coltsith7 September 2004
This is a very original low budget film. I picked it up one day when at the video store and had low expectations. Basically a woman promises her husband to stay loyal to him on his deathbed. But when she begins to get a little close with another man, clues start to appear that suggest that he may not be what he seems. Is it her dead husband warning her from the grave?

Perks

-Great movie to watch if you enjoy low budget films.

-2x as good as the average horror flick nowadays.

Flaws

-Cheaper film (same quality as most porn series on HBO)

-Low budget so don't expect a t-rex to chase a jeep through the woods or a guy to fly around and dodge bullets.

Overall a fun movie to watch.
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