Photos
Quotes
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Dick Head : I've just been on to one of my pals. Skullcrusher Henderson, who as it happens, is *the* master counterfeiter of old London town and he takes a very dim view to people muscling in on his patch. Some might say an almost psychotically, violently dim view.
Eddie : So?
Dick Head : So Eddie...
Eddie : Uh, uh, my name is... Deidre Barlow.
Spudgun : So's mine.
Dave Hedgehog : Me too.
Eddie : [Pointing to Richie] And his.
Dick Head : Well, Deidres, Skullcrusher is very, very angry with you.
Richie : Do you think we should send him some flowers?
Dick Head : No I'm afraid it's beyond flowers. Basically he says that unless you stop printing and come up with five grand by closing time tonight, he's gonna come round here and crush your skulls.
Eddie : Is that bad?
Richie : [Trembling] And that's why the call him the skullcrusher.
Dick Head : Exactly. So, until tonight, gentlemen.
Richie : I think I need to go to the lavvy!
Eddie : Yeah, me too!
Spudgun : And me!
Dave Hedgehog : I've just been!
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Eddie : [slyly] Evening Dick, lovely weather.
Dick Head : [bluntly] It's raining.
Eddie : Yes. Is that a guard's tie you're wearing?
Dick Head : Yeah it is actually.
Eddie : Well maybe you should give it back to him.
[laughs]
Eddie : Right enough of conversational pleasantries. Drinks all round!
Dick Head : Well of course it's drinks all round, it's a pub!
Eddie : No, I mean drinks all round us. What you having boys?
Richie : Palpitations, has he seen the cash yet?
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Eddie : Four pints of mild please, Dick.
[Puts cash note on the counter]
Dick Head : What's this?
Eddie : It is a one-hundred and thirty-seven Krugerrand note.
Dick Head : [Examining the note] Bloody hell, is that Dick Emery? Didn't know he could ride.
Eddie : No, he's not riding, that's Princess Anne.
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Dick Head : [On phone] Hello? Skullcrusher Henderson? Yeah, it's Dick Head here. No, don't laugh. I have in my possession here a very rare and extraordinarily pornographic £27 note, which may be of interest to a man in your position. What? Well it's Sylvester Stallone fisting what looks like Mr McHenry from The Magic Roundabout.
