User Reviews

Hey, if the production staff and/or writer Carl Binder ain't subtle, why should I be?

At first, when I put the DVD on, I thought I was watching "Jack-in-the Box". And was reminded that I don't think I saw much of the third season. I had read that "The Long Road Home" started at a pool but had forgotten. I'll have to check again when I get around to that episode, but did they film both episode at the same pool?

Anyhoo, the episode starts in media res with Micki and Johnny already on the trail of an antique yin-yang charm (which doesn't look much like an antique, but what do I know), and the sleaze ball that is using it to kill his lover's husband and then swap places with him, his mind into the dead man's body and healing the dead man's fatal wound in the process.

Micki and Johnny get the charm and kill the sleaze ball in hubby's buddy. By Johnny "accidentally" electrocuting him *aye aye nudge nudge wink wink* . And this whole opening bit is done by the end of the opening tag, which is a shame because it seems more interesting than the episode we do get.

On the way home, Johnny and Micki are waylaid by the Negley Brothers, Mike and Eddie. And Mike is play by a familiar face, actor Angelo Rizacos. Who previously appeared in season 1 "The Electrocutioner", and season 2 "Wax Magic". His character Mike is even creepier and more over the top than Mr. Rizacos' previous two characters combined.

Mike's brother Eddie is mentally retarded, and Mike is interested in raping Micki. "Rape" seems to be a recurring theme in season 3, as we've seen or heard it previously in "Mightier Than the Sword" (albeit mind rape), "Epitaph for a Lonely Soul", and "Midnight Riders". The Negley brothers are also into taxidermy, which means they've killed their own parents and grandparent, stuffed them, and put them into the attic. Rizacos' Mike drools and leers over them, while introducing Micki to his "family".

Meanwhile, Eddie breaks Johnny's leg and prepares to kill him. so Johnny uses the charm to swap bodies, and we get a brief bit where actor Géza Kovács playing Eddie plays Johnny playing Eddie. While the real Johnny's body stares off into space while actor Steve Monarque probably took a week off and spends most of his on-screen time staring off into space.

That gambit falls flat pretty soon when Johnny wants his body back, he convinces Micki who he is, and she helps him swap back into his own body. Which also heals his broken leg, and kills Eddie who Johnny had stabbed before he swapped. but Johnny/Eddie didn't display any sign of the mortal wound when he was talking to Micki. so I don't get this at all.

Mike accidentally swaps with his dead and stuffed father. Loses some of his sawdust, stuffs it back in, and chases after an escaping and Johnny. But steps into one of his own snares, gets yanked up into the air, and the wind blows the stuffing out of him. Granted, this final is fairly impressive.

At the end, Micki and Johnny agree to table their relationship talk for when they get back. Did I mention they had a relationship talk earlier? Well, they did, and maybe the production staff brought Johnny in so they could exploit the red-hot charisma that Louise Robey gives off. But she doesn't, and her relationship with Johnny isn't any more sexual than the one she had with Ryan in in the first two seasons. But there's no excuse for Micki and Johnny not hitting it off because they're distant cousins. I guess it's just that the two of them are flatter than pancakes. Which is a shame, as Robey occasionally displays signs of talent, particularly in the third season.

Chris Wiggins isn't in this episode. Granted, there probably wouldn't be much for him to do. But his presence is missed, as Wiggins always brings a certain professionalism to even the worst episodes.

Not that "The Long Road Home" is the worst episode. But it's not particularly inspired, and the Johnny body swap seems tossed in just to justify the cursed object theme and Mike going to pieces at the end. The Pa stuffed figure is impressive, even if he looks a little like the Scarecrow from the season 1 episode of the same name.

It's just that as a third-season episode that is trying to break the mode the way that "Repetition" and "Midnight Riders" did, "Road Home" really doesn't cut it. It's just so-so, as the production staff dedicated as much time to the Micki/Johnny non-relationship as Johnny body-swapping with Eddie. If they're going to explore the ethics of using a cursed object, I wish they would just do it. So far they haven't.

But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. What do you think?

I love this superbly unsettling episode that came late in this very unjustly cancelled show's life, the setting and villains are grimy, it excellently builds up the mood and tension and it has a pretty spectacular finish. I like the way it starts at the end of one story and moves straight into another, with Mickey and Johnny visiting a scuzzy diner en-route home in a rural county and encountering a pair of murderously twisted redneck brothers and soon after are forced to break the cardinal rule and use a cursed antique in order to make it out alive. It's a small yin-yang engraved circular charm that has the power to transfer a person's mind into a freshly-killed victim who then gets resurrected as that person - although as the story reveals it seems to work no matter how desiccated the dead body is, as long as there's a sacrifice involved. Anyway it leads to some interesting role-reversal type acting where people who normally act one way take on a whole other's mannerisms. It's a great idea for a story, I think it'd make for a good horror movie, in fact I think the idea was already ripped off in one from 2007 called "The Ferryman." I thought the actors playing the psychotic Negley brothers were very menacing and hickish and really seemed like they could be crazy people! The one that was meant to become Johnny and who goes from backward killer to soft-spoken and gentle did a brilliant job of it. I love the scene that shows that the brothers have been killing people and stuffing their bodies to arrange as members of their nightmarish make-believe family in a circle in the attic. It's a great ghastly centrepiece and that part of the story as well as the whole decrepit spooky house and grim tone felt to me like a wonderful homage to the genre-defining classic "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." The episode even delivers an unexpected creepy monster that leaps out of nowhere when the surviving brother accidentally inhabits the sand-filled mouldy husk of the grandpa he himself murdered years earlier. He ends up being literally hoisted by his own petard and macabrely spills his dry innards in a rather epic scene of swirling dusty madness and death that's worthy of any classic horror movie big finale in my book! Just an excellent episode, a favourite of mine and a definite series highlight. They did a fantastic job putting it together, it feels like a true horror story.