Barney Stinson: [finishing his story about his ex-girlfriend Shannon] And then she told me about her life. Her and Greg dated for awhile, then split up. Here's the real kicker, Shannon's a mom. She has a little kid named Max. That's crazy. That could've been my kid. But, instead what do I have? My whole life's some money in the bank, some suits in my closet, and a string of one-night stands.
[begins to cry]
Lily Aldrin: Hey, come one. I mean, just because her life went one way, and yours went another doesn't make your life any worse.
Barney Stinson: My life rocks! Money, suits and sex. These are tears of joy! I could be cooped up in some tiny apartment, changing some brat's poopy diapers, but instead, I'm out in the world being awesome 24/7, 365!
[looks up]
Barney Stinson: You let me dodge a bullet, Big Guy. Plus here's the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry, on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life. After Shannon and I talked, I nailed her!