I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)

The Colour of Alan (2002)

Amelia Bullmore: Sonja

Quotes 

• Sonja : [holding a pair of cushions with her's and Alan's faces on them]  You just take normal photograph into Snappy Snaps and he put photo on cushion. This cushion is called scatter cushion, it's brilliant. I call it scatter love cushion. Because it represent my love for Alan.

  Builder : You could sit on his face.

  [the other builder laughs] 

  Sonja : What do you mean?

  Builder : You could sit on Alan's face, you know. It's a joke.

  Sonja : [starts hitting the builders with the cushions]  It's very filthy joke! Alan is hitting you!

  Alan Partridge : [intervening]  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! That's English for stop a horse!

  Sonja : He is being very disgusting.

  Alan Partridge : What did he say?

  Sonja : He say I sit on your face.

  Alan Partridge : [to the builders]  Have you been spying on us?

• Sonja : [holding a kitchen knife]  You want to make love?

• Sonja : You want eat?

  Alan Partridge : What have we got?

  Sonja : We got eggs, we got chicken...

  Alan Partridge : Which came first?

  Sonja : Well, I just buy the chicken on Thursday...

  Alan Partridge : [disappointed that Sonja doesn't get his joke]  Yeah, yeah, chicken's fine.

• Sonja : [getting a chicken out of the fridge]  It's empty.

  Alan Partridge : What do you mean?

  Sonja : The chicken is empty.

  Alan Partridge : What do you mean, it's empty? What, do you mean it's hollow?

  Sonja : There isn't chicken inside the chicken.

  Alan Partridge : You didn't buy a display model, did you?

  Sonja : The, the, the insides.

  Alan Partridge : You mean the giblets?

  Sonja : Yes, giblets, yes, where is that?

  Alan Partridge : But it's awful!

  Sonja : Well, I like them.

  Alan Partridge : They might eat them in your country, sweetheart, we don't here. I don't want to eat an intestine or a chicken heart on a... on a mini-muffin. That's like some sort of voodoo canape.