I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)

The Colour of Alan (2002)

Felicity Montagu: Lynn Benfield

Photos 

Quotes 

• [at Norwich Station, Alan has set up a stand to promote his autobiography, "Bouncing Back". By now no one in the station is taking any notice of it anymore] 

  Lynn Benfield : Alan, Alan! There! It's Piet Morant from Dante Fires, he's just got off the train!

  Alan Partridge : He can't see me.

  Lynn Benfield : Why not?

  Alan Partridge : To the untrained eye, this could look like it's rubbish and I haven't bounced back.

• Lynn Benfield : [to Alan, as Michael gets out a cigarette]  Do you want to tell Michael there's no smoking in the house?

  Alan Partridge : [to Michael]  Er, there's actually no smoking in the house.

  Michael : [to Alan]  Do you want to tell her whose hoose it is?

  Alan Partridge : [to Lynn]  It's my house.

  Michael : [to Lynn]  If you've got owt to say, you can say it to me face.

  Lynn Benfield : It's a matter of hygiene.

  Alan Partridge : [arms up, coming between them]  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey! Back off, seconds out, round one, ding ding! Ah, I'd never let that happen. He'd batter you.

• [Alan is about to give a speech at awards ceremony for an electric fire company, but he's just impaled his foot on a fence spike and it's bleeding heavily] 

  Lynn Benfield : Oh, look at you, Alan. You should be in hospital!

  Alan Partridge : Lynn, some of these people have come from Stoke.