How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

The Stinsons (2009)

Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marshall Eriksen : You're telling me that when you watch "The Karate Kid", you don't root for Daniel-san?

  Ted Mosby : Who do you root for in "Die Hard"?

  Barney Stinson : Hans Gruber. Charming international bandit. In the end, he dies hard. He's the title character.

  Lily Aldrin : What about "The Breakfast Club"?

  Barney Stinson : The teacher running detention. He's the only guy in the whole movie wearing a suit.

  Robin Scherbatsky : I've got one. "The Terminator".

  Barney Stinson : What's the name of the movie, Robin? Who among us did not shed a tear when his little red eye went out in the end, and he didn't get to kill all those people?

  [Breaks down] 

  Barney Stinson : I'm sorry. I just get so emotional.

  Ted Mosby : I am never watching a movie with you again.

  Barney Stinson : They didn't even try to help him!

• Lily Aldrin : Where are you going, Barney?

  Barney Stinson : The beach. It's winter. Laser tag. Home. Shut up. You're going somewhere!

• Lily Aldrin : Hey, Barney. Hot blonde babies drinking bad decision juice at eight o'clock.

  Marshall Eriksen : Nice rack radar. That's my wife.

  Barney Stinson : Nah, I gotta get going.

  Lily Aldrin : Seriously? But they're blonde and drunk, isn't that your type?

  Barney Stinson : Maybe I don't have a type Lily. God do you think the male mind is really that simplistic. That we all have one favorite type, geez.

  Barney Stinson : [to Ted and Marshall]  Asian, with some boob.

• Lily Aldrin : This is crazy. You actually cast your own son?

  Barney Stinson : For a while, I got by borrowing/babysitting my neighbor's baby. And this one Christmas, when my mom was plowed on eggnog, I got away with a bag of flour and a Chuckie mask. But eventually, I had to hold auditions.

  [Flashback] 

  Barney Stinson : Four, eight... thirteen, Stay. The rest of you may go.

  Stage Mom : You said that if I slept with you, my son would get the part.

  Barney Stinson : Apparently, I'm a better actor than your kid.

• Lily Aldrin : I can't believe we haven't met you before. Who knew Barney had such a great mom?

  Loretta Stinson : Thanks, dear. Truth is, I wasn't always the best mother when I was younger.

  Marshall Eriksen : Don't say that. I'm sure you were great.

  Loretta Stinson : Yeah, I was a bit of a whore.

  Lily Aldrin : Excuse me?

  Loretta Stinson : A whore, dear. A dirty whore. I'm not proud of it. But still, I had some fun. There is no thrill equal to looking into some guy's eyes and thinking, "I don't know your name, you don't know mine, but for the next eight minutes, we are gonna rock this gas station bathroom right off its foundation". And then just drive off in opposite directions... Just keep driving.