The Cellar Club (TV Series 2021– ) Poster

(2021– )

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4/10
Late Night Horror Intros
gavcrimson25 January 2022
A series of Friday night screenings of mostly horror films (with the occasional public domain film noir thrown in there) on Talking Pictures TV introduced by Caroline Munro. Nice as Munro seems (and I'm sure is) and nice as it is to see anyone attempting horror themed programming on British television in 2022, The Cellar Club keeps being sunk by an air of laziness and indifference when it comes to research.

Munro's intro to Island of Terror claimed it was an "early Hammer production" and "the early special effects creak a little but strangely work in black and white giving a Quatermass feel" followed by a Planet films production in full colour. Oh dear. Bizarrely the films shown on the 1st April 2022, appear to have had the end of their intros mixed up. Meaning the intro to The Return of Count Yorga (1971) concluded with Munro claiming the film we were about to see was about one man's irrational fear. Which makes no sense in the context of Return of Count Yorga, and instead sounded more suited to the next film The Premature Burial (1962) which was praised for being true to real life, a claim you suspect was instead meant for the last film of the night The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976). Just where is the quality control there?

Allowing Munro to read out and answer viewers' letters has meant her introductions now expand beyond merely name checking various cast and crew members as well as reading basic plot synopses off an autocue. However for every letter prompting Munro into a worthwhile trip down memory lane, she has also been struck with some particularly idiotic questions. This week's one "do you like horror films? Where is the cellar club and can we visit it?" was predictability toe-curling (its clearly a studio with a fake background) but the nadir so far has been "what cars have you owned?, if any".

Introducing a screening of Virgin Witch saw Munro going into full on luvvie mode as a result of being placed in the awkward position of talking about a film starring a friend of hers...who loathes it. "I know Vicki (Michelle), she is the most amazing lady, not only is she a fabulous sport and beautiful, but she does so much work for charity, and I've been to quite a few of her events to support her various charities, she's a lovely lady" claims CM (read: "oh god Vicki, I hope we'll still be on speaking terms after I introduce THIS")

Kudos for bringing the likes of Count Yorga, Vampire and Theatre of Blood back to UK television, but these intros give the impression their makers spent about five minutes googling these movies or going on Wikipedia to come up with Munro's scripts. What's frustrating is that the Cellar Club concept has so much potential, yet the execution has frankly been embarrassing, leaving the Munro intros lagging way behind the Alex Cox and Joe Bob Briggs level of movie hosting.
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